posted by sws at
11:02:00 PM
Monday, October 28, 2002
i get to do a challenger mission tomorrow!
challenger's another type of praticum, and a whole class does it. a visiting school group signs up, and we have this big room full of stations and tv screens, and then another smaller room with labs and stations there. the big room is 'mission control' and the small room is 'eagle 1'. basically, the class splits up, half is mission control, other half is in the space shuttle, and then they fly to the moon. it's awesome, i did it before during my training. i was on the navigation team! aw i wish you were there.
anyways, excitement about that. but otherwise, today was a pretty bad day. for no real reason. maybe i'm pms-ing (or "s-ing" as some may recall...) or just tired. but i feel like i need another change of scenery. well..maybe not that. i think i just need to get away from some certain people. i want to switch classes and hang out with the other people.
everyone's planning on going camping this weekend. i don't know how they can do that, since hmwrk is always floating around somewhere. oh well. i won't go. besides, i might have some visitors saturday!! oo lala!
rosco smells like popcorn. usually he smells like a cross between dust, celery, and a baby. a dusty baby who just ate some celery. but what's sad is that it's my fault (or achievement). because i eat popcorn by the bags, and i eat about 3 a day, which isn't natural, and i often feed rosco a kernel or two, because he begs and is cute, but mostly because he is sneaky and always steals some from me when i'm not paying attention. you may laugh, but he really is really really tricky.
really really really really.
"really really good good! he's great!" aaaaghhh....i still can't believe i said that during my interview....uurgh...
haha talk about not able to get over something.
anyhoo.
today was a not so great day, as i mentioned before. tired, cranky, and hungry were the words of the day. (hehe...that reminds me of julia's blog. i like when people talk about me in their blogs. hey! don't think you're better than me!! shannon likes it too!) B cracked a joke about me and pablo picasso having the same bday, but one of us being a genius, and the other not, and i said "oo...witty." and i think i hurt him. ah well. who cares. it wasn't even that mean. but ... well...no one is mean here..not even in the slightest way, so i think everyone was a little shocked. poo for them.
"give me your quarters! i love quarters!"
guess what that's from. it's not a movie. it's not any media thing for that matter. but you'll laugh if you remember it. promise.
i was complaining to kristine about kelvin. she agreed and said she wanted to kill him every time she sees him. i thought that was a little overboard..
kristine is...okay. no...she's...if i didn't know her better, i'd think she were fake and superficial.
and i've only known her for less than 2 months. so...yes.
i think i'm just extra cranky because i'm jealous that my close friends at oscss have other close friends. they aren't allowed to have friends! what are they thinking! i am all that matters!
i think ... krystan is a lot cooler than i first thought he was. which isn't hard to beat, since the first thing i heard him say was "can we set a rule now that no tests or quizzes or homework, for that matter, may be assigned or scheduled on a certain day?"
....why krystan?...
"because..and i'm sure we're all in agreement here, because lord of the rings: two towers is coming out this semester."
ah yes....no, i love lord of the rings, it's just...kind of funny. geeks are fun. he's not a geek. i think i'll stop.
but krystan is so...
i think someone thinks we .. i dunno. what the hell am i talking about. he's really flirty. kay..yeah..i'm going to stop for real now.
yikes. i've been at gurl.com too long. (right julia?) she don't like de gurl dot coms. but i do! except i haven't been there in a long time, and after i clicked the link to go there (even though she told me not to), i was sort of surprised to see how much it's turned into a "young modern, woman" magazine.
kristine really dislikes jen. she won't admit it, but i can tell it's part because of jealousy, part because she thinks jen doesn't like her (which is probably because jen thinks kristine doesn't like HER..urg), part because she knows i'm not the most radical pro-jen-er around, so she likes to rant to me about her. and maybe even a tiny tiny bit because there is something about jen she doesn't go well with.
jen is flirty in an attention-grabbing, tomboy way. but kristine is too, yet kristine always tells me about incidents of "oh jen is sooo flirty. that girl..."
lisa is hilarious. my stars. we have a good time. we share a tutor too. today, in bio, we did a lab with leaves and chromatography. but we don't have any supplies (the labs are really really bad, surprisingly. we have more stuff at the chem lab back home), so gabe always has to "borrow" stuff from his old schools. but they're getting suspicious, and it's a hassle to constantly return it, so today we "borrowed" stuff from an exhibit right outside our classroom. there's visitors walking around, and it must have looked so bad for us to be hogging the button, pushing it over and over, and then running away with all the little supplies. i was reminded this after mentioning lisa, because she was pushing the button, and didn't know there was a delay in the little paper to come out, so she was peering into the little slot where it pops out, then when it did, it made a "shoosh" noise, and hit her face, and she jumped.
lol what an anti-climatic ending.
i haven't talked to laura in a long time. i dunno why, but we don't joke around as much anymore.
i didn't meant to complain about kristine so much. she's great.
i would have thought that some of the males who are in my class wouldn't have gotten past the interview. they seem so introverted, and loners of their own choice.
lately, everyone is talking about how there is only about 2 months and a week left to oscss sem 41 (because they let us off 2 weeks early. why? i dunno. it's a dumb idea, since we only get 4 classes of each subject a week), and robin said, "ohh i do not want to go back to my old school! everyone here is so nice! over there they're so...cruel and mean." i seriously want to go to that school and slap anyone who'se mean to him. it's so unfair how he's treated differently. he's such a great guy, but he probably never acts like it at his old school, since no one gives him the chance.
i don't know why i'm so protective of robin. i think it's cause he reminds me of chris, when chris was younger. looks-wise. maybe it's cause he's only been in canada for 2 years, and he's a "real" chinese person.
i don't see how i can blog for hours and hours, without difficulty, yet i can't concentrate on homework.
the proposal for the BioTech competition is this friday. i am scared beyond belief. i always joke about being scared of my homework, and projects, but i actually am this time. or maybe i'm scared because i'm home alone, and i swear i heard a crack upstairs, and someone say "hello". no, must be BioTech. so much research involved, and i can't...do ... it!! aagh! and i told my idea to gabe, who said that someone tried it a long time ago, and that i'll have to find a way to harness the power myself (lol "harness .. de POWAAAHHH!!" no. but i really do have to harness some electrical power, and i don't know how to do it.) and he doesn't know how i can do it, and i also have to find a way to drastically increase the amount of power released by cell, or to find a way to get my grubby little hands (hmm..they are literally grubby. they have pastels all in the nails. ieeeww...get out! get out!! jerks.) on a whole butt load of cells. i keep coming up with a picture of myself surrounded in a room with blobs of cells, crying, while i poke them with needles and do experiments on them.
i'm serious. which is the very very scary part.
gabe is trying to subtly convince me to change my focus of this experiment. i can tell, because i'm an expert in subtlology (...?? i'm confuused two!) and such matters of the focal expermentitis.
i've heard of "no logo" before! i feel proud.
well not really. but i DO know this: i HATE SCIENCE!! AAAAAAAIIIEEEE
i went to ask gabe a whole bunch of questions i had from cellular respiration, and he basically told me they weren't important questions, i don't need to know their answers.
which should have made me feel good, but i felt like i'd done something wrong. or maybe he didn't know the answers. that bum.
weird, no? me needs some kristine to do some analyzing.
challenger's another type of praticum, and a whole class does it. a visiting school group signs up, and we have this big room full of stations and tv screens, and then another smaller room with labs and stations there. the big room is 'mission control' and the small room is 'eagle 1'. basically, the class splits up, half is mission control, other half is in the space shuttle, and then they fly to the moon. it's awesome, i did it before during my training. i was on the navigation team! aw i wish you were there.
anyways, excitement about that. but otherwise, today was a pretty bad day. for no real reason. maybe i'm pms-ing (or "s-ing" as some may recall...) or just tired. but i feel like i need another change of scenery. well..maybe not that. i think i just need to get away from some certain people. i want to switch classes and hang out with the other people.
everyone's planning on going camping this weekend. i don't know how they can do that, since hmwrk is always floating around somewhere. oh well. i won't go. besides, i might have some visitors saturday!! oo lala!
rosco smells like popcorn. usually he smells like a cross between dust, celery, and a baby. a dusty baby who just ate some celery. but what's sad is that it's my fault (or achievement). because i eat popcorn by the bags, and i eat about 3 a day, which isn't natural, and i often feed rosco a kernel or two, because he begs and is cute, but mostly because he is sneaky and always steals some from me when i'm not paying attention. you may laugh, but he really is really really tricky.
really really really really.
"really really good good! he's great!" aaaaghhh....i still can't believe i said that during my interview....uurgh...
haha talk about not able to get over something.
anyhoo.
today was a not so great day, as i mentioned before. tired, cranky, and hungry were the words of the day. (hehe...that reminds me of julia's blog. i like when people talk about me in their blogs. hey! don't think you're better than me!! shannon likes it too!) B cracked a joke about me and pablo picasso having the same bday, but one of us being a genius, and the other not, and i said "oo...witty." and i think i hurt him. ah well. who cares. it wasn't even that mean. but ... well...no one is mean here..not even in the slightest way, so i think everyone was a little shocked. poo for them.
"give me your quarters! i love quarters!"
guess what that's from. it's not a movie. it's not any media thing for that matter. but you'll laugh if you remember it. promise.
i was complaining to kristine about kelvin. she agreed and said she wanted to kill him every time she sees him. i thought that was a little overboard..
kristine is...okay. no...she's...if i didn't know her better, i'd think she were fake and superficial.
and i've only known her for less than 2 months. so...yes.
i think i'm just extra cranky because i'm jealous that my close friends at oscss have other close friends. they aren't allowed to have friends! what are they thinking! i am all that matters!
i think ... krystan is a lot cooler than i first thought he was. which isn't hard to beat, since the first thing i heard him say was "can we set a rule now that no tests or quizzes or homework, for that matter, may be assigned or scheduled on a certain day?"
....why krystan?...
"because..and i'm sure we're all in agreement here, because lord of the rings: two towers is coming out this semester."
ah yes....no, i love lord of the rings, it's just...kind of funny. geeks are fun. he's not a geek. i think i'll stop.
but krystan is so...
i think someone thinks we .. i dunno. what the hell am i talking about. he's really flirty. kay..yeah..i'm going to stop for real now.
yikes. i've been at gurl.com too long. (right julia?) she don't like de gurl dot coms. but i do! except i haven't been there in a long time, and after i clicked the link to go there (even though she told me not to), i was sort of surprised to see how much it's turned into a "young modern, woman" magazine.
kristine really dislikes jen. she won't admit it, but i can tell it's part because of jealousy, part because she thinks jen doesn't like her (which is probably because jen thinks kristine doesn't like HER..urg), part because she knows i'm not the most radical pro-jen-er around, so she likes to rant to me about her. and maybe even a tiny tiny bit because there is something about jen she doesn't go well with.
jen is flirty in an attention-grabbing, tomboy way. but kristine is too, yet kristine always tells me about incidents of "oh jen is sooo flirty. that girl..."
lisa is hilarious. my stars. we have a good time. we share a tutor too. today, in bio, we did a lab with leaves and chromatography. but we don't have any supplies (the labs are really really bad, surprisingly. we have more stuff at the chem lab back home), so gabe always has to "borrow" stuff from his old schools. but they're getting suspicious, and it's a hassle to constantly return it, so today we "borrowed" stuff from an exhibit right outside our classroom. there's visitors walking around, and it must have looked so bad for us to be hogging the button, pushing it over and over, and then running away with all the little supplies. i was reminded this after mentioning lisa, because she was pushing the button, and didn't know there was a delay in the little paper to come out, so she was peering into the little slot where it pops out, then when it did, it made a "shoosh" noise, and hit her face, and she jumped.
lol what an anti-climatic ending.
i haven't talked to laura in a long time. i dunno why, but we don't joke around as much anymore.
i didn't meant to complain about kristine so much. she's great.
i would have thought that some of the males who are in my class wouldn't have gotten past the interview. they seem so introverted, and loners of their own choice.
lately, everyone is talking about how there is only about 2 months and a week left to oscss sem 41 (because they let us off 2 weeks early. why? i dunno. it's a dumb idea, since we only get 4 classes of each subject a week), and robin said, "ohh i do not want to go back to my old school! everyone here is so nice! over there they're so...cruel and mean." i seriously want to go to that school and slap anyone who'se mean to him. it's so unfair how he's treated differently. he's such a great guy, but he probably never acts like it at his old school, since no one gives him the chance.
i don't know why i'm so protective of robin. i think it's cause he reminds me of chris, when chris was younger. looks-wise. maybe it's cause he's only been in canada for 2 years, and he's a "real" chinese person.
i don't see how i can blog for hours and hours, without difficulty, yet i can't concentrate on homework.
the proposal for the BioTech competition is this friday. i am scared beyond belief. i always joke about being scared of my homework, and projects, but i actually am this time. or maybe i'm scared because i'm home alone, and i swear i heard a crack upstairs, and someone say "hello". no, must be BioTech. so much research involved, and i can't...do ... it!! aagh! and i told my idea to gabe, who said that someone tried it a long time ago, and that i'll have to find a way to harness the power myself (lol "harness .. de POWAAAHHH!!" no. but i really do have to harness some electrical power, and i don't know how to do it.) and he doesn't know how i can do it, and i also have to find a way to drastically increase the amount of power released by cell, or to find a way to get my grubby little hands (hmm..they are literally grubby. they have pastels all in the nails. ieeeww...get out! get out!! jerks.) on a whole butt load of cells. i keep coming up with a picture of myself surrounded in a room with blobs of cells, crying, while i poke them with needles and do experiments on them.
i'm serious. which is the very very scary part.
gabe is trying to subtly convince me to change my focus of this experiment. i can tell, because i'm an expert in subtlology (...?? i'm confuused two!) and such matters of the focal expermentitis.
i've heard of "no logo" before! i feel proud.
well not really. but i DO know this: i HATE SCIENCE!! AAAAAAAIIIEEEE
i went to ask gabe a whole bunch of questions i had from cellular respiration, and he basically told me they weren't important questions, i don't need to know their answers.
which should have made me feel good, but i felt like i'd done something wrong. or maybe he didn't know the answers. that bum.
weird, no? me needs some kristine to do some analyzing.
posted by sws at
10:58:00 PM
Sunday, October 27, 2002
ah yes. i remember.
but now i realize it's really boring. and don't feel like blogging it.
i feel bad for everyone. people in general. this time it's sympathetic.
before all these blogs popped up, i didn't realize everyone really did have their own personal crisis and problems that are totally unique to their lives. and they're all big enough for it to seem to that person that they have the worst life, yet they don't think that way. it sounds like i'm talking about one certain person, but i'm not. sometimes, when i drive down a highway at night, and i see a whole 6 lanes packed with cars, and i think each car has about 2 or 3 people in it, and each of those people have their own lives...it's...a bit humbling. i mean, they all have their own worries, and secrets and...
you know?
...i don't think you do. hm. it's .. just so .. neat.
...????
ah yes. testament to my extensive vocabulary.
i hate hate hate when people say "riiiiight." it feels so condensending and you have no idea what they're trying to say. plus it's just annoying.
but now i realize it's really boring. and don't feel like blogging it.
i feel bad for everyone. people in general. this time it's sympathetic.
before all these blogs popped up, i didn't realize everyone really did have their own personal crisis and problems that are totally unique to their lives. and they're all big enough for it to seem to that person that they have the worst life, yet they don't think that way. it sounds like i'm talking about one certain person, but i'm not. sometimes, when i drive down a highway at night, and i see a whole 6 lanes packed with cars, and i think each car has about 2 or 3 people in it, and each of those people have their own lives...it's...a bit humbling. i mean, they all have their own worries, and secrets and...
you know?
...i don't think you do. hm. it's .. just so .. neat.
...????
ah yes. testament to my extensive vocabulary.
i hate hate hate when people say "riiiiight." it feels so condensending and you have no idea what they're trying to say. plus it's just annoying.
posted by sws at
10:58:00 PM
rosco's poos are pure liquid. i hope he's not sick...
kelvin is annoying.
he calls rosco "rocco". why? i don't know. it's not like i was calling him rocco, and nor is it that he can't pronounce "rosco".
i was pratically looking for things he'd do to annoy me.
like acting as if rosco and he had a deep connection. telling me what rosco was doing, and why, as if i wouldn't know. he's only My bird. and saying "oh he said this and this" when he didn't. all the bird did was sqwak.
it really bothered me. i need to get away from that guy. i guess too much time together really is a bad thing.
hate is a really strong word.
Stephanie says:
aw i read that you felt very sorry for me
gangly rape girl says:
i did/do
gangly rape girl says:
haha that looks like dildo
Stephanie says:
for some reason, having a bad day on my birthday makes it 10 times worse.
funny. and sad!
sweetness is on jimmy eat world. whoops. it's on muchmusic, i mean. i remember the first time i saw that video, i got shivers and thought it was the greatest thing ever, since i heard that song from jessie's bootleg cd. now it's...marr...
HOY CRAPOLA!!! they sang COLLECTIVE SOUL at the school mass?!?!!?!? AAAAAGH I WISH I WAS THERE!! HOLY CRAPPERS, I CAN'T GET OVER IT!
i dunno about shine though. i can't see (hear) that working out with a choir...i bet it sounded gread though. *sigh*
i want to be back at the collective soul concert. i cried there. and was embarassed, cause since i was right up against the crowd fence, they could see me. i swear, the drummer was laughing at me.
sex legs. hahahaha. you call it sex legs, i call it bull-legged. tomato, tom-mat-tow.
lol, the 1st time i typed out "tomato, tommattow" i realized no one would understand what i was saying, since they'd be spelt the same. i'm a dude.
there was something else...hm....i'll remember later.
kelvin is annoying.
he calls rosco "rocco". why? i don't know. it's not like i was calling him rocco, and nor is it that he can't pronounce "rosco".
i was pratically looking for things he'd do to annoy me.
like acting as if rosco and he had a deep connection. telling me what rosco was doing, and why, as if i wouldn't know. he's only My bird. and saying "oh he said this and this" when he didn't. all the bird did was sqwak.
it really bothered me. i need to get away from that guy. i guess too much time together really is a bad thing.
hate is a really strong word.
Stephanie says:
aw i read that you felt very sorry for me
gangly rape girl says:
i did/do
gangly rape girl says:
haha that looks like dildo
Stephanie says:
for some reason, having a bad day on my birthday makes it 10 times worse.
funny. and sad!
sweetness is on jimmy eat world. whoops. it's on muchmusic, i mean. i remember the first time i saw that video, i got shivers and thought it was the greatest thing ever, since i heard that song from jessie's bootleg cd. now it's...marr...
HOY CRAPOLA!!! they sang COLLECTIVE SOUL at the school mass?!?!!?!? AAAAAGH I WISH I WAS THERE!! HOLY CRAPPERS, I CAN'T GET OVER IT!
i dunno about shine though. i can't see (hear) that working out with a choir...i bet it sounded gread though. *sigh*
i want to be back at the collective soul concert. i cried there. and was embarassed, cause since i was right up against the crowd fence, they could see me. i swear, the drummer was laughing at me.
sex legs. hahahaha. you call it sex legs, i call it bull-legged. tomato, tom-mat-tow.
lol, the 1st time i typed out "tomato, tommattow" i realized no one would understand what i was saying, since they'd be spelt the same. i'm a dude.
there was something else...hm....i'll remember later.
posted by sws at
10:50:00 PM
Saturday, October 26, 2002
at bunch of days ago, in ikea, my mom told me how jo's mom told her jo couldn't come see me. i got all mad at her mom, and started bitching about how unfair it was for her, and she should do this, and get a this, and then do this.
i was about to publish it a long time ago, but i felt like it wasn't any of my business. so i didn't. but to hell with thaaaat...
i want to be home so i can help 'em out with some school stuff.
at least i'll be able to help them with calc next semester.
i was thinking more about becoming a teacher. i remember one of the profs from the bio symposium going on and on about how science teachers are "the heros of our lives" or something like that. i remember he used the word hero. i really want to be a senior science teacher in a high school somewhere! that'd be amazing. i was thinking that maybe, if there is still a shortage, i could teach more than one subject. that would be the best. but honestly, the ideal for me would be to have my own medical practice, teach at a school, and do my own research, and have my own university caliber lab. but all of those are impossible to have at the same time. and i want to be full time dedicated to whatever i do.
i know i can always fall back on becoming a science/math teacher, but i don't want to become something i don't have to work for. being able to "fall back" on it seems to take away from making it an achievement.
it's amazing that my generation has so many opportunities, and a choice in our future...it's cool. it really is that if you try hard enough, you can do whatever you want.
aahhahaha i say the weirdest things. i feel like laughing and slapping myself for saying that about my future. and it's at this point that i'd like to add that i love jesus and he loves me.
there..now it's complete.
just kidding.
i was about to publish it a long time ago, but i felt like it wasn't any of my business. so i didn't. but to hell with thaaaat...
i want to be home so i can help 'em out with some school stuff.
at least i'll be able to help them with calc next semester.
i was thinking more about becoming a teacher. i remember one of the profs from the bio symposium going on and on about how science teachers are "the heros of our lives" or something like that. i remember he used the word hero. i really want to be a senior science teacher in a high school somewhere! that'd be amazing. i was thinking that maybe, if there is still a shortage, i could teach more than one subject. that would be the best. but honestly, the ideal for me would be to have my own medical practice, teach at a school, and do my own research, and have my own university caliber lab. but all of those are impossible to have at the same time. and i want to be full time dedicated to whatever i do.
i know i can always fall back on becoming a science/math teacher, but i don't want to become something i don't have to work for. being able to "fall back" on it seems to take away from making it an achievement.
it's amazing that my generation has so many opportunities, and a choice in our future...it's cool. it really is that if you try hard enough, you can do whatever you want.
aahhahaha i say the weirdest things. i feel like laughing and slapping myself for saying that about my future. and it's at this point that i'd like to add that i love jesus and he loves me.
there..now it's complete.
just kidding.
posted by sws at
6:10:00 PM
david has left a long time ago, but he (or one of his friends) got a bottle of cinnamon schnopps for his birthday. i was looking at it, and it has gold flakes floating around in it.
alcohol is funny.
yesterday wasn't a disappointing day, but it wasn't an amazing day either. t'was an ordinary day.
i knew my friends from ttown wouldn't come up, but deep down, i sort of thought they might, because this seems like the closest time we've ever come to planning something bigger like this. excluding yorkdale mall day. hey! that was for my birthday last year! weird...wasn't it? ah yes. it was. anyways, no problem, and no big deal.
i didn't go out with friends from osc either, since i didn't want to blow off my mom. she said i could, but i knew she'd be really hurt if i did. besides, i'll probably go to screamers (a big haunted house at the ex) and to dinner next friday, when there's less projects due.
my arms feel heavy...urrg...
yesterday, my bio class went to the UofT Human Genome Symposium. it was okay. the first speaker was great, the second was crap. they were both professors. i really really feel sorry for whoever gets lectured by that second prof. they were really different, but were also both stereotypical science professors/researchers. one was all business and charismatic, and old, chubby, yet young at same time. the other was tall and skinny, wore a cardigan, had a horrible combover, thick glasses, and never looked you in the eye.
i was 45 minutes late, because we were supposed to meet at UofT st.george campus. but as i said, i was late, and they had left to find the teacher, as i thought they would. later, they said that they were really really torn, because it was my birthday and all. so they left a huge sign for me, and it said "steph sun! happy birthday! sorry, we left to find gabe!" i wish i saw it. i bet my brothers will see it and flip out. so i was 30 minutes late at that point. the extra 15 minutes of lateness is thanks to a certain girl whom i was following for 15 minutes, since she looked exactly like jenna, and was wearing a jacket that is like jenna's too. on the 15th minute, she turns around, and she's asian. aagh. and she wasn't even blonde, like jenna. she was wearing this darn light pink hat, that made her hair look blonde from far away.
so then i turned and ran. at least i hadn't missed any talks, and i still got 2 free tshirts from the whole deal.
saw "the truth about charlie" yesterday. it was fun. don't rush out to see it right away, though.
the orchestra concert sucked. it was all brass and woodwinds, and they only played modern classical.
i shouldn't say it sucked. it was alright...but a waste of money. i think me and my mom were the only ones in the audience who didn't know someone in the orchestra. it was a youth orchestra, afterall. some young'uns in the crowd were really dressed up. spaghetti straps and everything. i was in my jeans with a tiny crap stain on the thigh, courtesy of rosco, with a hot pink long sleeved shirt, that has a mysterious dusty looking stain on the shoulder, which i covered up with my black hoodie. i looked like a thief. my mom was wearing her pleather jacket from a hong kong vintage store, so she looked all matrix-ed out. it was funny, because it just doesn't go well with her classic mom look.
we were 45 minutes late for that too (number of the day), so when it ended, it seemed like it had ended early. i said to my mom "we should go ask an usher how long it goes for." but then we decided not to, because..
"excuse me, how long does this go for?"
"..um...it's already over.."
"oh! ... ohhhhhh...."
we were late because our dinner was 45 minutes late. i think that was the point when i actually started getting sad.
it started raining, but it was painful rain, because it was so cold.
i was sad during the concert. at the first note, literally, i suddenly got really really depressed. i was thinking selfish stuff like "oh this is the first birthday that i haven't gotten a cake. and no one has sung happy birthday to me (electronic blog singing of happy birthdays don't count shannon! haha), and this band sucks, and i don't want to be here. i could have finished my calculus homework instead of celebrating tonight. oh my god, did i just think that?! i can't believe i'd rather do calc homework than go through with tonight, today is such an ordinary day." and so on. i felt like a 6 year old, but i didn't care.
i teared, and i think the lady beside me envied that i could get so emotional about music.
then when it was over, i went back to normal. strange, since i knew that we couldn't go out to screamers tonight with oscss, beforehand, and i remember thinking "aww. i don't care about not being able to go, the fact that we were going to go, and that they were planning this for a week is so sweet" and i honestly felt that way too. but then i got all ... blah during the music.
hopefully, if things go as planned, screamers and dinner next saturday for my belated bday. if not, it'll be karaoke. that'll be hilarious.
i can't believe i'm enjoying myself here now.
direct quote from me, a month and a half ago, "i honestly can't imagine myself getting along with anyone, or liking anyone here."
there was something else...
hmm...
kristine called me at exactly 12am yesterday to wish me happy birthday. i was sleeping, but she sounded so worried when she said "please tell me you were doing homework" that i said i was. when i picked up the phone, the first thing she said was "...hhhaaaappy birthdaaaay!" in a first low, then squeaky high voice. having just rolled out of bed, i felt like screaming "what the hell?!!?! i have to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow!!" but i couldn't. she's a nice kid. kelvin's dad thinks he's dating me and kristine. meanwhile, we both find him slightly creepy. i think kelvin was exaggerating. kelvin is malaysian-chinese, and was born in malaysia. (heey..my cousin's married to his royal family..or one of them...i should ask him about that.) i can't believe he told kristine that his dad calls her "saw leuy" as in "stupid girl" or "silly girl". it's worse because he said it when annie, cliff, kristine, and i were there. annie and cliff laughed, but i was confused. kristine was demanding to know what it meant, but annie and cliff wouldn't tell her.Then I said, "wait a minute...doesn't that mean 'stupid girl'?"
aaaaaagh! hehee it's sort of funny though.
i hope ttown people can come up next week, but i don't think they'll manage it. (yeah, i'm talking to you.)
i really want to go back to spcss.
but i really want to stay here too. i want this semester to go on forever. i like knowing i'll be back at spcss, but still being here.
alcohol is funny.
yesterday wasn't a disappointing day, but it wasn't an amazing day either. t'was an ordinary day.
i knew my friends from ttown wouldn't come up, but deep down, i sort of thought they might, because this seems like the closest time we've ever come to planning something bigger like this. excluding yorkdale mall day. hey! that was for my birthday last year! weird...wasn't it? ah yes. it was. anyways, no problem, and no big deal.
i didn't go out with friends from osc either, since i didn't want to blow off my mom. she said i could, but i knew she'd be really hurt if i did. besides, i'll probably go to screamers (a big haunted house at the ex) and to dinner next friday, when there's less projects due.
my arms feel heavy...urrg...
yesterday, my bio class went to the UofT Human Genome Symposium. it was okay. the first speaker was great, the second was crap. they were both professors. i really really feel sorry for whoever gets lectured by that second prof. they were really different, but were also both stereotypical science professors/researchers. one was all business and charismatic, and old, chubby, yet young at same time. the other was tall and skinny, wore a cardigan, had a horrible combover, thick glasses, and never looked you in the eye.
i was 45 minutes late, because we were supposed to meet at UofT st.george campus. but as i said, i was late, and they had left to find the teacher, as i thought they would. later, they said that they were really really torn, because it was my birthday and all. so they left a huge sign for me, and it said "steph sun! happy birthday! sorry, we left to find gabe!" i wish i saw it. i bet my brothers will see it and flip out. so i was 30 minutes late at that point. the extra 15 minutes of lateness is thanks to a certain girl whom i was following for 15 minutes, since she looked exactly like jenna, and was wearing a jacket that is like jenna's too. on the 15th minute, she turns around, and she's asian. aagh. and she wasn't even blonde, like jenna. she was wearing this darn light pink hat, that made her hair look blonde from far away.
so then i turned and ran. at least i hadn't missed any talks, and i still got 2 free tshirts from the whole deal.
saw "the truth about charlie" yesterday. it was fun. don't rush out to see it right away, though.
the orchestra concert sucked. it was all brass and woodwinds, and they only played modern classical.
i shouldn't say it sucked. it was alright...but a waste of money. i think me and my mom were the only ones in the audience who didn't know someone in the orchestra. it was a youth orchestra, afterall. some young'uns in the crowd were really dressed up. spaghetti straps and everything. i was in my jeans with a tiny crap stain on the thigh, courtesy of rosco, with a hot pink long sleeved shirt, that has a mysterious dusty looking stain on the shoulder, which i covered up with my black hoodie. i looked like a thief. my mom was wearing her pleather jacket from a hong kong vintage store, so she looked all matrix-ed out. it was funny, because it just doesn't go well with her classic mom look.
we were 45 minutes late for that too (number of the day), so when it ended, it seemed like it had ended early. i said to my mom "we should go ask an usher how long it goes for." but then we decided not to, because..
"excuse me, how long does this go for?"
"..um...it's already over.."
"oh! ... ohhhhhh...."
we were late because our dinner was 45 minutes late. i think that was the point when i actually started getting sad.
it started raining, but it was painful rain, because it was so cold.
i was sad during the concert. at the first note, literally, i suddenly got really really depressed. i was thinking selfish stuff like "oh this is the first birthday that i haven't gotten a cake. and no one has sung happy birthday to me (electronic blog singing of happy birthdays don't count shannon! haha), and this band sucks, and i don't want to be here. i could have finished my calculus homework instead of celebrating tonight. oh my god, did i just think that?! i can't believe i'd rather do calc homework than go through with tonight, today is such an ordinary day." and so on. i felt like a 6 year old, but i didn't care.
i teared, and i think the lady beside me envied that i could get so emotional about music.
then when it was over, i went back to normal. strange, since i knew that we couldn't go out to screamers tonight with oscss, beforehand, and i remember thinking "aww. i don't care about not being able to go, the fact that we were going to go, and that they were planning this for a week is so sweet" and i honestly felt that way too. but then i got all ... blah during the music.
hopefully, if things go as planned, screamers and dinner next saturday for my belated bday. if not, it'll be karaoke. that'll be hilarious.
i can't believe i'm enjoying myself here now.
direct quote from me, a month and a half ago, "i honestly can't imagine myself getting along with anyone, or liking anyone here."
there was something else...
hmm...
kristine called me at exactly 12am yesterday to wish me happy birthday. i was sleeping, but she sounded so worried when she said "please tell me you were doing homework" that i said i was. when i picked up the phone, the first thing she said was "...hhhaaaappy birthdaaaay!" in a first low, then squeaky high voice. having just rolled out of bed, i felt like screaming "what the hell?!!?! i have to wake up at 6:30 tomorrow!!" but i couldn't. she's a nice kid. kelvin's dad thinks he's dating me and kristine. meanwhile, we both find him slightly creepy. i think kelvin was exaggerating. kelvin is malaysian-chinese, and was born in malaysia. (heey..my cousin's married to his royal family..or one of them...i should ask him about that.) i can't believe he told kristine that his dad calls her "saw leuy" as in "stupid girl" or "silly girl". it's worse because he said it when annie, cliff, kristine, and i were there. annie and cliff laughed, but i was confused. kristine was demanding to know what it meant, but annie and cliff wouldn't tell her.Then I said, "wait a minute...doesn't that mean 'stupid girl'?"
aaaaaagh! hehee it's sort of funny though.
i hope ttown people can come up next week, but i don't think they'll manage it. (yeah, i'm talking to you.)
i really want to go back to spcss.
but i really want to stay here too. i want this semester to go on forever. i like knowing i'll be back at spcss, but still being here.
posted by sws at
5:44:00 PM
Thursday, October 24, 2002
i'm in a really bad mood.
kelvin creeps me out. he's too annoying for words. he imitates and laughs at everything i say, especially if i'm not trying to be funny. today, i was really tired (hah. today? how about everyday.) and so when people would ask me something, or make a comment, instead of giving a real reply, i'd just mumble or grunt. he'd laugh, say "oh you're so funny", or just try to copy my noise, which was very .. strange, since it was so different from mine, i wouldn't know what the hell was wrong with him.
"steph! where are the axles?"
me: "mmrph..aaaggh!..."
kelvin: "blaaachaaa"
then he kept singing madonna's new song over and over. just two lines from the chorus. but he wasn't singing. he was trying to sing, but since he has such a low voice, it sounded like he was just talking funny. and i KNEW he was trying to annoy me, because he kept looking at me, and leaning towards me. i was ignoring him, until the 9th recition (recition? the noun form of 'to recite'? hmm..i dunno), when i said "nnnnnnnaaaaarrrggg!!! STOP!! i know you're trying to annoy me!!" and turned around. it might have seemed out of the blue and kind of mean, but i don't care.
jeff is so..ugh..i can't get over how pissed off he makes me, yet he does nothing for me to feel this way. i just dislike how he talks so quiet, and sounds so confused all the time. and how he usually is confused, and asks questions that are totally off topic, and doesn't pay attention to what's going on.
there was a bio quiz today, and so of course, all the bio kids freaked out about it. even if it doesn't count for any marks. then, after the quiz was written, they were all angry and frustrated that they studied for hours and hours when it was an easy-ass quiz.
the fact they all flip out, and get all cutthroat, constantly whine about universities and marks, and blame everything on the teachers, pisses the hell out of me. we're basically on our own; learn to take some fucking responsabilities, and run your own life.
my philosophy (of many..) is that you can't complain about something until you have done absolutely everything possible to change it. people are so scared of being at fault for something. they don't care if the job is done wrong, they only care if it ends up being their fault. so of course the natural thing to do is to blame it on whoever else isn't there to stand up for themselves.
my whole robot group is making me mad too. they keep...messing up plans, and steve had told me this idea to attach the motor to the gear, to the axle, to the wheel, and it was really good. so i told my group, then kelvin goes and tells lyndsie his "great idea".
krystan is surprisingly flirty. it makes me feel awkward, cause since he's an outgoing guy, so he doesn't mean anything by it, yet when people get like that around me, i get quiet. at least now i do, since i've realized that there's still girls here who pick up on that kind of thing, then gossip about it. it makes me overlysensitive to it all.
alex (guy) brought some friends over today, and they were hanging out with us in the student's lounge, and alex was telling them about krystan (they spotted my inanimate porn photos), and he goes, "yeah, they were taken by krystan. he's the coolest guy here".
while kelvin was in the room. aha....poor kelvin. i'm still annoyed by him.
tomorrow my bio class is going to UofT for this Human Genome Symposium, where there's supposed to be a bunch of experts in the field. i'm not looking forward to it. i'm gonna be an ass, and argue with them about the ethics of all this hullabaloo. it'll be my goddamn birthday, so i'll have the right.
some people at oscss are still really surprised that i'm still 16 (today). it's not that big a deal, is it? it's not like i just turned 16.
allyson is really really funny. when i first met her, i thought she was bland and boring. but she's hilarious. we always make fun of each other. she saw my st.paul's shirt today, and tried to say something about St.Paul's but i thought she said St.Pelvis. now she calls me St.Pelvis, and i call her ugly.
just kidding.
today:
alex said: well someone should go to the metal shop, to see if they have any brass cuplings we can have. who wants to go?(silence)
cliff: i think jeff should go, he knows about what these things look like.
jeff: ...okay..but steph knows more about them than i do, she should go.
me (snapping out of my funk): me go? or you lazy?
cliff: a little of both, i bet.
so i ended up making him come too. serves him right.
we changed the name of our robot from "Wedgie of Death" to "Whut??". cause now with it's side flaps, it looks like it's raising it's arms and being all 'gangsta'. whenever someone asks what our name is, we have to do the hand gestures and the threatening tone. alex said she'd paint a bandana on it. it'll be funny. we took a picture with it, and it was all gang mockery. but instead of making our hands look like guns, we held our motors in a way that it'd look like a gun. it was lame....ly funny.
it's disgusting how rosco will crap, then walk in it. doesn't he know it's gross? wouldn't he rather not step in something all wet and sticky??
everyone pisses me off.
yet again.
today is melissa's birthday. i keep thinking about back in grade 8 when we were really worried about losing touch, since she goes to enss, and i was going to spcss. we used to call eachother almost once a day, but after a while, our stories started involving different people, and everything ended with "you had to be there, i guess."
it's sad. i don't like growing apart from people, but i guess change is unchangable.
arg.
on the bus today, i was sitting across from these two teenyboppers. it was a wonder i could tell how old they were, especially considering all the glitter, nail polish, garish accessories, and fancy updooed hair. the voices were a dead giveaway. one was wearing a sweater that said "55 spoiled", and those unbelieveably rediculous jeans that are faded in specific areas. the other was 100% glitterfied and obviously insecure and jealous of the 55 spoiled girl. 55 spoiled had what either was her brother, or pathetic boyfriend, on the bus with her. totally out of the blue, the glitter girl asked 55 spoiled's brother "who is cooler. me or your sister? and don't say me just cause i'm here".
what a fucked up society.
i was ashamed and embarassed FOR her. when i was little, i used to wonder what the 17 year old version of me would think of the little me. and now that i'm 17 (well..technically 16..), i kind of wonder what the little me would think of me now.
that reminds me of how yesterday, while staying late to work on robots, a little boy (a visitor, must have been 3yrs at the most) mosied (how DO you spell mosy-ied? mosyed. mosied..) on into Lab 1. i was holding a wrench, and a huge screw. jen noticed him first, and said "hello!!" and pointed at him. he looked scared, walked away from her, and walked towards me, with his arms outstretched. i thought he wanted to see the screw and wrench, so i held them out for him, but instead, he kept coming towards me, and wanted me to pick him up.
so i did. and we walked around, while his mom called him a flirt. it was fun. his head looked like a big white potato, but he was really cute!
later, my friends asked why i picked him up.
"i dunno..it was coming at me, so it seemed the natural thing to do."
haha "it"
laura did the ageing machine. i went with her. she says i was making her laugh, but i wasn't! but since she was laughing, her aged picture ended up looking really really messed up. she ended up looking like a huge possessed potato. i don't want to stick around to see that in 50 years.
yesterday, my mom and i ate at ikea. no, we weren't furniture shopping, we just went there, with the sole intention of eating in their cafeteria.
kelvin creeps me out. he's too annoying for words. he imitates and laughs at everything i say, especially if i'm not trying to be funny. today, i was really tired (hah. today? how about everyday.) and so when people would ask me something, or make a comment, instead of giving a real reply, i'd just mumble or grunt. he'd laugh, say "oh you're so funny", or just try to copy my noise, which was very .. strange, since it was so different from mine, i wouldn't know what the hell was wrong with him.
"steph! where are the axles?"
me: "mmrph..aaaggh!..."
kelvin: "blaaachaaa"
then he kept singing madonna's new song over and over. just two lines from the chorus. but he wasn't singing. he was trying to sing, but since he has such a low voice, it sounded like he was just talking funny. and i KNEW he was trying to annoy me, because he kept looking at me, and leaning towards me. i was ignoring him, until the 9th recition (recition? the noun form of 'to recite'? hmm..i dunno), when i said "nnnnnnnaaaaarrrggg!!! STOP!! i know you're trying to annoy me!!" and turned around. it might have seemed out of the blue and kind of mean, but i don't care.
jeff is so..ugh..i can't get over how pissed off he makes me, yet he does nothing for me to feel this way. i just dislike how he talks so quiet, and sounds so confused all the time. and how he usually is confused, and asks questions that are totally off topic, and doesn't pay attention to what's going on.
there was a bio quiz today, and so of course, all the bio kids freaked out about it. even if it doesn't count for any marks. then, after the quiz was written, they were all angry and frustrated that they studied for hours and hours when it was an easy-ass quiz.
the fact they all flip out, and get all cutthroat, constantly whine about universities and marks, and blame everything on the teachers, pisses the hell out of me. we're basically on our own; learn to take some fucking responsabilities, and run your own life.
my philosophy (of many..) is that you can't complain about something until you have done absolutely everything possible to change it. people are so scared of being at fault for something. they don't care if the job is done wrong, they only care if it ends up being their fault. so of course the natural thing to do is to blame it on whoever else isn't there to stand up for themselves.
my whole robot group is making me mad too. they keep...messing up plans, and steve had told me this idea to attach the motor to the gear, to the axle, to the wheel, and it was really good. so i told my group, then kelvin goes and tells lyndsie his "great idea".
krystan is surprisingly flirty. it makes me feel awkward, cause since he's an outgoing guy, so he doesn't mean anything by it, yet when people get like that around me, i get quiet. at least now i do, since i've realized that there's still girls here who pick up on that kind of thing, then gossip about it. it makes me overlysensitive to it all.
alex (guy) brought some friends over today, and they were hanging out with us in the student's lounge, and alex was telling them about krystan (they spotted my inanimate porn photos), and he goes, "yeah, they were taken by krystan. he's the coolest guy here".
while kelvin was in the room. aha....poor kelvin. i'm still annoyed by him.
tomorrow my bio class is going to UofT for this Human Genome Symposium, where there's supposed to be a bunch of experts in the field. i'm not looking forward to it. i'm gonna be an ass, and argue with them about the ethics of all this hullabaloo. it'll be my goddamn birthday, so i'll have the right.
some people at oscss are still really surprised that i'm still 16 (today). it's not that big a deal, is it? it's not like i just turned 16.
allyson is really really funny. when i first met her, i thought she was bland and boring. but she's hilarious. we always make fun of each other. she saw my st.paul's shirt today, and tried to say something about St.Paul's but i thought she said St.Pelvis. now she calls me St.Pelvis, and i call her ugly.
just kidding.
today:
alex said: well someone should go to the metal shop, to see if they have any brass cuplings we can have. who wants to go?(silence)
cliff: i think jeff should go, he knows about what these things look like.
jeff: ...okay..but steph knows more about them than i do, she should go.
me (snapping out of my funk): me go? or you lazy?
cliff: a little of both, i bet.
so i ended up making him come too. serves him right.
we changed the name of our robot from "Wedgie of Death" to "Whut??". cause now with it's side flaps, it looks like it's raising it's arms and being all 'gangsta'. whenever someone asks what our name is, we have to do the hand gestures and the threatening tone. alex said she'd paint a bandana on it. it'll be funny. we took a picture with it, and it was all gang mockery. but instead of making our hands look like guns, we held our motors in a way that it'd look like a gun. it was lame....ly funny.
it's disgusting how rosco will crap, then walk in it. doesn't he know it's gross? wouldn't he rather not step in something all wet and sticky??
everyone pisses me off.
yet again.
today is melissa's birthday. i keep thinking about back in grade 8 when we were really worried about losing touch, since she goes to enss, and i was going to spcss. we used to call eachother almost once a day, but after a while, our stories started involving different people, and everything ended with "you had to be there, i guess."
it's sad. i don't like growing apart from people, but i guess change is unchangable.
arg.
on the bus today, i was sitting across from these two teenyboppers. it was a wonder i could tell how old they were, especially considering all the glitter, nail polish, garish accessories, and fancy updooed hair. the voices were a dead giveaway. one was wearing a sweater that said "55 spoiled", and those unbelieveably rediculous jeans that are faded in specific areas. the other was 100% glitterfied and obviously insecure and jealous of the 55 spoiled girl. 55 spoiled had what either was her brother, or pathetic boyfriend, on the bus with her. totally out of the blue, the glitter girl asked 55 spoiled's brother "who is cooler. me or your sister? and don't say me just cause i'm here".
what a fucked up society.
i was ashamed and embarassed FOR her. when i was little, i used to wonder what the 17 year old version of me would think of the little me. and now that i'm 17 (well..technically 16..), i kind of wonder what the little me would think of me now.
that reminds me of how yesterday, while staying late to work on robots, a little boy (a visitor, must have been 3yrs at the most) mosied (how DO you spell mosy-ied? mosyed. mosied..) on into Lab 1. i was holding a wrench, and a huge screw. jen noticed him first, and said "hello!!" and pointed at him. he looked scared, walked away from her, and walked towards me, with his arms outstretched. i thought he wanted to see the screw and wrench, so i held them out for him, but instead, he kept coming towards me, and wanted me to pick him up.
so i did. and we walked around, while his mom called him a flirt. it was fun. his head looked like a big white potato, but he was really cute!
later, my friends asked why i picked him up.
"i dunno..it was coming at me, so it seemed the natural thing to do."
haha "it"
laura did the ageing machine. i went with her. she says i was making her laugh, but i wasn't! but since she was laughing, her aged picture ended up looking really really messed up. she ended up looking like a huge possessed potato. i don't want to stick around to see that in 50 years.
yesterday, my mom and i ate at ikea. no, we weren't furniture shopping, we just went there, with the sole intention of eating in their cafeteria.
posted by sws at
5:52:00 PM
Tuesday, October 22, 2002
damn, i'm wasting my life away. here's proof:
i just figured out that my exact age that i mentioned in one of my last posts is wrong. why? because i was born at 12:30 in the afternoon, not at exactly 12:00am, october 25th.
i just figured out that my exact age that i mentioned in one of my last posts is wrong. why? because i was born at 12:30 in the afternoon, not at exactly 12:00am, october 25th.
posted by sws at
11:25:00 PM
had a heart to heart with kristine.
about parents.
it was eye-opening. she analyzes whatever i say, and i like it. actually, it's more like she says "wow, that's exactly what i'd do" or "geez, you're so purehearted (she actually said this..!!!), cause i would totally...."
pureheartedness could be mistaken for naitivité
naivité
naiveness
i should be a big grammar freak and add in the two little dots on the "i".
after having the heart to heart, doing calculus seemed really..pointless. i didn't care about marks anymore, and i didn't care about not understanding it all. mike is still assigning stuff though he's sick and not around for us to ask questions. so we're self-teaching for the next while. i kind of hope he's not here tomorrow...
i only have calc and scisoc tomorrow. and scisoc is just building robots, no class.
i cried tonight. but it wasn't sobs, it was just tears.
my mom called, and told me some sad news. sad and a little disturbing. i hope she's okay.. it wasn't a good thing to do, but i distracted her by telling her how i got tickets to a youth wind orchestra for friday.
kelvin was being creepy today.
josh was being flirty.
cliff and i played spit, and i WHIPPED his ass.
it's good to know i'm one of the best at at least something in this shining crap hole of a great thing.
we're gonna have a spit tournement. well..everyone calls it speed here, but i still yell "spit!" when i finish my cards. it's habit, and people are starting to adopt it, cause they want to be like me. hahahahahhaha. i knew playing spit every recess during gr. 7 and 8 would come in handy someday.
talked to jake last night. for a long time. it was pretty ... stupid to stay up so late. we weren't even talking about anything that deep or thought-provoking.
he mentioned alex, and i thought he was talking about this girl he's trying to hook up with. quite some confusion, let me tell you. then i felt dumb. i hope he doesn't tell alex "she forgot who you were".
he said he was supposed to hang out with sharon last weekend. i'm jealous that they get to still hang out whenever they want, but i'm probably never going to see any of them again.
he said i'm only about 3 hours away from where they live. it must be more than that...
toronto? to davidson, MI? hmm... oh well. doesn't matter anyways.
i've been playing my Vivaldi Four Seasons CD over and over. somehow, it suits my mood. which is a lame comment to make, since it's so varied. maybe i'm just tired. maybe i'm schizophrenic, and i need to be sedated (..."i wanna be seda-aated"); maybe i'm menopausal, and i'm going through mood-swings.
yeah, that seems about right.
a menopausal 16 years, 362 days, 11 hours, 14 minutes, and 5 seconds old hag.
it's only days just before a birthday, (or just after) that you can do stuff like that, and not be considered a freakie.
just kidding.
about parents.
it was eye-opening. she analyzes whatever i say, and i like it. actually, it's more like she says "wow, that's exactly what i'd do" or "geez, you're so purehearted (she actually said this..!!!), cause i would totally...."
pureheartedness could be mistaken for naitivité
naivité
naiveness
i should be a big grammar freak and add in the two little dots on the "i".
after having the heart to heart, doing calculus seemed really..pointless. i didn't care about marks anymore, and i didn't care about not understanding it all. mike is still assigning stuff though he's sick and not around for us to ask questions. so we're self-teaching for the next while. i kind of hope he's not here tomorrow...
i only have calc and scisoc tomorrow. and scisoc is just building robots, no class.
i cried tonight. but it wasn't sobs, it was just tears.
my mom called, and told me some sad news. sad and a little disturbing. i hope she's okay.. it wasn't a good thing to do, but i distracted her by telling her how i got tickets to a youth wind orchestra for friday.
kelvin was being creepy today.
josh was being flirty.
cliff and i played spit, and i WHIPPED his ass.
it's good to know i'm one of the best at at least something in this shining crap hole of a great thing.
we're gonna have a spit tournement. well..everyone calls it speed here, but i still yell "spit!" when i finish my cards. it's habit, and people are starting to adopt it, cause they want to be like me. hahahahahhaha. i knew playing spit every recess during gr. 7 and 8 would come in handy someday.
talked to jake last night. for a long time. it was pretty ... stupid to stay up so late. we weren't even talking about anything that deep or thought-provoking.
he mentioned alex, and i thought he was talking about this girl he's trying to hook up with. quite some confusion, let me tell you. then i felt dumb. i hope he doesn't tell alex "she forgot who you were".
he said he was supposed to hang out with sharon last weekend. i'm jealous that they get to still hang out whenever they want, but i'm probably never going to see any of them again.
he said i'm only about 3 hours away from where they live. it must be more than that...
toronto? to davidson, MI? hmm... oh well. doesn't matter anyways.
i've been playing my Vivaldi Four Seasons CD over and over. somehow, it suits my mood. which is a lame comment to make, since it's so varied. maybe i'm just tired. maybe i'm schizophrenic, and i need to be sedated (..."i wanna be seda-aated"); maybe i'm menopausal, and i'm going through mood-swings.
yeah, that seems about right.
a menopausal 16 years, 362 days, 11 hours, 14 minutes, and 5 seconds old hag.
it's only days just before a birthday, (or just after) that you can do stuff like that, and not be considered a freakie.
just kidding.
posted by sws at
11:14:00 PM
i had no classes today! out of the 4 teachers at oscss, 3 were home sick. it's weird. i woke up at 8:30 today, and since i knew i'd be really late, i didn't care how much more late i'd be. i ended up not getting to school until 9:15, that's 45 minutes late today. i'm so lucky that gabe is sick...
i would of had more robot building in scisoc, but i signed up to sit in on this lecture on astronomy, and i had to introduce, and thank the professor for praticum hours. it's was alright.
i'm very sure that they're planning something for my birthday.
because i wrote back to abeer's and jenna's emails:
"what's this alex is planning? i didn't get the email.."
abeer writes back:
"steph..we were planning on going to give the librarian her thank you card tomorrow"
when i walked into the lounge at lunch today, a bunch of them were staring at me, and then alex said "yeah...we weren't just talking about steph sun.."
then just a few hours ago, we were all sitting on the couch, and i was in the middle. krystan walked in, and he goes "yeah guys, we should start talking about steph's birthday.." and then everyone quickly looks at me. and krystan trailed off then just didn't say anything else
maybe they won't do anything, now that i know. i bet they won't, or they'll postpone it to monday, so that i think nothing's going to happen. it's so like them..
except that my mom and i are going to the theatre on my birthday.
oh wells..
i wonder why i was so pissed off yesterday.
i would of had more robot building in scisoc, but i signed up to sit in on this lecture on astronomy, and i had to introduce, and thank the professor for praticum hours. it's was alright.
i'm very sure that they're planning something for my birthday.
because i wrote back to abeer's and jenna's emails:
"what's this alex is planning? i didn't get the email.."
abeer writes back:
"steph..we were planning on going to give the librarian her thank you card tomorrow"
when i walked into the lounge at lunch today, a bunch of them were staring at me, and then alex said "yeah...we weren't just talking about steph sun.."
then just a few hours ago, we were all sitting on the couch, and i was in the middle. krystan walked in, and he goes "yeah guys, we should start talking about steph's birthday.." and then everyone quickly looks at me. and krystan trailed off then just didn't say anything else
maybe they won't do anything, now that i know. i bet they won't, or they'll postpone it to monday, so that i think nothing's going to happen. it's so like them..
except that my mom and i are going to the theatre on my birthday.
oh wells..
i wonder why i was so pissed off yesterday.
posted by sws at
4:32:00 PM
Monday, October 21, 2002
i really don't want to go back.
just got home from school. just got home from school.
at least our battle robot is coming along nicely. right now, all it is is a triangle that moves. no, it's a ramp. and that's it. but i seriously think it can take out all the other robots that have flails, and mallets, and expandable arms and stuff.
kristine...is a weird-o.
i think she likes cliff, because she keeps making lame comments about us hooking up. she said she wasn't that kind of girl, but she is..
ah well. no biggie.
except that now she keeps saying something, or giving me a funny face everytime i happen to be standing next to him, or if we're talking. which wasn't good, considering cliff and i were in the same group to build our "atomic wedgie".
it's almost starting to be annoying.
i'm tired..mike, gabe, and alisa were all sick today. it's weird.
i have to introduce a scientist speaker tomorrow. it's about "planets and beyond!" except that he/she hasn't sent in vital info: eg. their NAME!!!
how am i supposed to host them if i dont' even know who they are?
anyways, this is all very intriguing, i'm sure.
the science centre is extremely creepy at night. all the exhibts are turned off, and most of the lights too. laura and i were in the truth exibit, and it's big thing is that it's really mysterious, and we were thinking about trying the confinment chamber, but we got too scared.
i dont' feel like blogging, i'm just trying to put off doing anything else.
don't want to go home.
lately, i've found many reminders of how unhappy and frustrated i'd be somedays. nothing against the school, just mostly other students and their patheticness.
patheticness?
oh well.
i'm being very bitter. and for no good reason.
this is totally unrelated, but it's my birthday this friday. for the last while, i've been constantly promoting it, but i don't care anymore. my mom and i are going out, to see a classical concert. that'll be really really nice. alex got a cello today. caitlin played on it, she's amazing! well...she could play a couple bars of some piece i recognized, but couldn't name. it was really really ... *sigh*
i don't see how classical music can be seen as boring. but..ah well.
anyways, maybe andrew can come too. that'll be good too. mark said he can't do anything (boo) because he has to teach a class that day. chris...well it's obvious why he can't come. kristine is coming over again tomorrow. if she mentions cliff...arg..
i've found myself saying a lot of non-words at school. such as:
"klinger" "margle blargle? argle largle!" "zing-y" "rampy"
worn out..
it makes me so tired, and bored when girls at oscss start talking about possible hook ups among the students. i mean, get over it, there's nothing to talk about anymore. no one is going to hook up.
kristine says : maybe i can bring a movie tomorrow
i think : dammit, why would you do that? i have a bio quiz thursday, and calc is killing us.
i say: ...marrrgh...mmph...
dave came downstairs to apologize for eating two of my mini croissants. meanwhile, i have 40 left. that dirty dirty bastard. i should have demanded that he return them right away.
that reminded me of how laura was walking around with lisa's astronaut box on her head, and b came up and ripped the back, when trying to torment her. laura, lisa, and i were making him feel bad because he believed that lisa was really upset, even though it was just a cardboard box.
"that's my only box!"
"you're gonna have to buy her a new one!! they're pretty rare!"
"i'm gonna give you a bill for that!"
"do you KNOW how long i spent on that box??"
and so on..
self-righteous people are such pains in asses.
multiple pains. multiple asses.
i brought in the hugest asian apple pear today. it was the size of my face. it was so big, it had a funny bend in it that made it look like an ass.
"stephanie likes eating asses!"
"hey hey...yellow asses."
because it was a yellow fruit..and it's called an asian fruit...and asians are yellow...yeah...har har..
i have a funny feeling that someone's planning something this friday.
and i'm not in the know.
two people have asked me if "alex told me about the dinner yet" and i say no, then they won't tell me anything else. i asked laura about alex's dinner and what it was about, and she said she didn't know about it.
i check email, and there's a whole bunch of replys to alex' email that i never got, and they say:
1st one:
"yeah! we should get everyone to put their birthdays on the calender. not for my own benefit though, since mine's in second semester."
2nd:
"THAT IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA! she'll really appreciate it!"
conceit...ed...? marr. maybe.
when i get back to spcss, i'm not going to go out for purely social events anymore.
last time i went swimming, someone else asked me to join the masters team. that makes two people.
i told my mom, to brag of course, and she said "so do it". she sounded very uninterested. masters is for adults though. i'll be the youngest there.
...hmm
..i think i will join it, afterall. it'll beat swimming laps by myself.
i really really really really want to do really really really really well in my last half year of swimming with dolphins. today, on the bus, a girl was complaining about only getting a bronze at provincials, and it made me angry that i slacked off so much, when i ...well...when i could have gone further.
honestly, there was a point where i couldn't imagine any way to end my swimming career. other than ending it with olympics. you hear that? i seriously believed i was going to the olympics.
*sigh*
still time..the ones i really want to go to are the 2008 ones in Beijing. that way i'll be able to invite my family in China to come too, and it wouldn't be expensive for them. my grampa is a really big bragger (theres a word for that...isn't there?) and so he told all of my extended family whom i've never met, that i was a national record holder, and that i was training for olympics, and blah blah. it was pretty embarassing. he got it mixed up with when i was placed 19th in canada for 100br from 11/12yr olds, back when i was 11.
now i'm what? not even rankable.
am i that good?
but of course.
...
in general, i can't wait to see what china's gonna do for the beijing olympics.
if i become a doctor, i'm going to join some organization like doctors without borders and travel while setting up free-clinics.
if i'm a teacher, i'll stay in canada. and teach.
lately, i've felt like i want to be a teacher more than anything but...it sounds boring sometimes.
plus i can't handle bratty kids.
angry angry.
i don't want to be around anyone right now.
back when i was missing spcss, when i thought of spcss, i'd think of belonging, comfortability, stressless classes, fresh air, and friendliness and fun.
now i think of fakes, whores, frustration, pathetic people, cruelness, bordom, tediousness...
positivity! it'll catch me..
just got home from school. just got home from school.
at least our battle robot is coming along nicely. right now, all it is is a triangle that moves. no, it's a ramp. and that's it. but i seriously think it can take out all the other robots that have flails, and mallets, and expandable arms and stuff.
kristine...is a weird-o.
i think she likes cliff, because she keeps making lame comments about us hooking up. she said she wasn't that kind of girl, but she is..
ah well. no biggie.
except that now she keeps saying something, or giving me a funny face everytime i happen to be standing next to him, or if we're talking. which wasn't good, considering cliff and i were in the same group to build our "atomic wedgie".
it's almost starting to be annoying.
i'm tired..mike, gabe, and alisa were all sick today. it's weird.
i have to introduce a scientist speaker tomorrow. it's about "planets and beyond!" except that he/she hasn't sent in vital info: eg. their NAME!!!
how am i supposed to host them if i dont' even know who they are?
anyways, this is all very intriguing, i'm sure.
the science centre is extremely creepy at night. all the exhibts are turned off, and most of the lights too. laura and i were in the truth exibit, and it's big thing is that it's really mysterious, and we were thinking about trying the confinment chamber, but we got too scared.
i dont' feel like blogging, i'm just trying to put off doing anything else.
don't want to go home.
lately, i've found many reminders of how unhappy and frustrated i'd be somedays. nothing against the school, just mostly other students and their patheticness.
patheticness?
oh well.
i'm being very bitter. and for no good reason.
this is totally unrelated, but it's my birthday this friday. for the last while, i've been constantly promoting it, but i don't care anymore. my mom and i are going out, to see a classical concert. that'll be really really nice. alex got a cello today. caitlin played on it, she's amazing! well...she could play a couple bars of some piece i recognized, but couldn't name. it was really really ... *sigh*
i don't see how classical music can be seen as boring. but..ah well.
anyways, maybe andrew can come too. that'll be good too. mark said he can't do anything (boo) because he has to teach a class that day. chris...well it's obvious why he can't come. kristine is coming over again tomorrow. if she mentions cliff...arg..
i've found myself saying a lot of non-words at school. such as:
"klinger" "margle blargle? argle largle!" "zing-y" "rampy"
worn out..
it makes me so tired, and bored when girls at oscss start talking about possible hook ups among the students. i mean, get over it, there's nothing to talk about anymore. no one is going to hook up.
kristine says : maybe i can bring a movie tomorrow
i think : dammit, why would you do that? i have a bio quiz thursday, and calc is killing us.
i say: ...marrrgh...mmph...
dave came downstairs to apologize for eating two of my mini croissants. meanwhile, i have 40 left. that dirty dirty bastard. i should have demanded that he return them right away.
that reminded me of how laura was walking around with lisa's astronaut box on her head, and b came up and ripped the back, when trying to torment her. laura, lisa, and i were making him feel bad because he believed that lisa was really upset, even though it was just a cardboard box.
"that's my only box!"
"you're gonna have to buy her a new one!! they're pretty rare!"
"i'm gonna give you a bill for that!"
"do you KNOW how long i spent on that box??"
and so on..
self-righteous people are such pains in asses.
multiple pains. multiple asses.
i brought in the hugest asian apple pear today. it was the size of my face. it was so big, it had a funny bend in it that made it look like an ass.
"stephanie likes eating asses!"
"hey hey...yellow asses."
because it was a yellow fruit..and it's called an asian fruit...and asians are yellow...yeah...har har..
i have a funny feeling that someone's planning something this friday.
and i'm not in the know.
two people have asked me if "alex told me about the dinner yet" and i say no, then they won't tell me anything else. i asked laura about alex's dinner and what it was about, and she said she didn't know about it.
i check email, and there's a whole bunch of replys to alex' email that i never got, and they say:
1st one:
"yeah! we should get everyone to put their birthdays on the calender. not for my own benefit though, since mine's in second semester."
2nd:
"THAT IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA! she'll really appreciate it!"
conceit...ed...? marr. maybe.
when i get back to spcss, i'm not going to go out for purely social events anymore.
last time i went swimming, someone else asked me to join the masters team. that makes two people.
i told my mom, to brag of course, and she said "so do it". she sounded very uninterested. masters is for adults though. i'll be the youngest there.
...hmm
..i think i will join it, afterall. it'll beat swimming laps by myself.
i really really really really want to do really really really really well in my last half year of swimming with dolphins. today, on the bus, a girl was complaining about only getting a bronze at provincials, and it made me angry that i slacked off so much, when i ...well...when i could have gone further.
honestly, there was a point where i couldn't imagine any way to end my swimming career. other than ending it with olympics. you hear that? i seriously believed i was going to the olympics.
*sigh*
still time..the ones i really want to go to are the 2008 ones in Beijing. that way i'll be able to invite my family in China to come too, and it wouldn't be expensive for them. my grampa is a really big bragger (theres a word for that...isn't there?) and so he told all of my extended family whom i've never met, that i was a national record holder, and that i was training for olympics, and blah blah. it was pretty embarassing. he got it mixed up with when i was placed 19th in canada for 100br from 11/12yr olds, back when i was 11.
now i'm what? not even rankable.
am i that good?
but of course.
...
in general, i can't wait to see what china's gonna do for the beijing olympics.
if i become a doctor, i'm going to join some organization like doctors without borders and travel while setting up free-clinics.
if i'm a teacher, i'll stay in canada. and teach.
lately, i've felt like i want to be a teacher more than anything but...it sounds boring sometimes.
plus i can't handle bratty kids.
angry angry.
i don't want to be around anyone right now.
back when i was missing spcss, when i thought of spcss, i'd think of belonging, comfortability, stressless classes, fresh air, and friendliness and fun.
now i think of fakes, whores, frustration, pathetic people, cruelness, bordom, tediousness...
positivity! it'll catch me..
posted by sws at
9:31:00 PM
Sunday, October 20, 2002
excuse me? i wanted to know...where do we put the sex?
andrew tried to call me "poohead" over msn, but ended up calling me "pooheat".
i dislike bugs. well, i mean, i hate catching them, because i don't like the feeling of squishing them, or hearing them crack, or seeing the juice on the wall afterwards. so usually i catch them in something, and flush them down the toilet. laura says it's cruel and "they know what you're doing to them stephanie!!!" but oh well. today, i threw an earwig into the toilet, to kill it, but then i had to go pee. so...i did. at least i saved the earth, by conserving flush energy!
i felt so evil. seriously, i felt really really bad. i felt like some barbarian, who pees on her trophies of war.
what the hell am i talking about?!?!
anyways, so i was at the math contest today, and the lady was telling us how to fill out the registration forms. she said "put F if you're female, and M if you're male ...here". and then someone goes, "ummexcuse me? but where do we put the ... Sex??" and then..oh dear lord, EVERYONE burst into stupid giggly snorts, the stereotypical nerd ones, and everyone hunched over, and started shaking, and all peered around from under their greasy moptops and above their silver glasses. then came the lameass jokes, like "oh not in this class, buddy!" "hey this is arithme(a?)tic, not anatomy!" "*snort**giggle* he said sex!!" "you just said sex too!"
seriously, josh and i got scared. i would have run out there screaming right then, if i wasn't holding out for the free doughnuts and pop.
no, i lie. i was the one who said "you said sex!"
lol
i wonder who believes me..
andrew tried to call me "poohead" over msn, but ended up calling me "pooheat".
i dislike bugs. well, i mean, i hate catching them, because i don't like the feeling of squishing them, or hearing them crack, or seeing the juice on the wall afterwards. so usually i catch them in something, and flush them down the toilet. laura says it's cruel and "they know what you're doing to them stephanie!!!" but oh well. today, i threw an earwig into the toilet, to kill it, but then i had to go pee. so...i did. at least i saved the earth, by conserving flush energy!
i felt so evil. seriously, i felt really really bad. i felt like some barbarian, who pees on her trophies of war.
what the hell am i talking about?!?!
anyways, so i was at the math contest today, and the lady was telling us how to fill out the registration forms. she said "put F if you're female, and M if you're male ...here". and then someone goes, "ummexcuse me? but where do we put the ... Sex??" and then..oh dear lord, EVERYONE burst into stupid giggly snorts, the stereotypical nerd ones, and everyone hunched over, and started shaking, and all peered around from under their greasy moptops and above their silver glasses. then came the lameass jokes, like "oh not in this class, buddy!" "hey this is arithme(a?)tic, not anatomy!" "*snort**giggle* he said sex!!" "you just said sex too!"
seriously, josh and i got scared. i would have run out there screaming right then, if i wasn't holding out for the free doughnuts and pop.
no, i lie. i was the one who said "you said sex!"
lol
i wonder who believes me..
posted by sws at
10:20:00 PM
*to the tune of whitney houston's "i will always love you" (or whatever the hell it's called)..
iiiiiiiieeeiiiiiii just fiiiniished my homewoooooorrrrrk....beforeteno'clockoooooooeeeeooooooo
mixed with my fabulous broadway dancing...
jealous yet?
finally getting around to browsing some scholarships. all the duedates have prolly already gone by. ah well. more for me. obviously, i excel in the maths.
i was talking about the TD canada trust scholarship wtih kristine, where they pay full tuition (!!!) but you have to get a job at a bank (...) or so was my understanding. anyways, she said, "yeah, i was going to go for it to...until i heard that last year's winner was Craig Keilburger."
"ahh...i see..."
but it just so happened that he was entering university this year. it's no biggie. i'm still gonna try, if i get the time. (excuses..)
here is my claim to fame: Craig Keilburger is enrolled at UofT. His residence is Trinity College, the same college Mark spent all his undergrad at. that bum, what the hell kind of undergrad student gets residence for all 4 years?
anyways. so if you see craig on the street, now you can confidently go up to him and say "hey, why don't we talk anymore? afterall, we're like That (cross fingers), i mean, i read the blog of some girl whose brother lived in the same building as you, except now he's gone, and you're there, but hey! no love lost!"
he'd beat you up. then make you free the children. trust me...i would know! *sob*
..
anyways, more on craig, while i'm remembering..
i saw him in person once! which is cool. at a 'tree-hugger's party' so andrew always called it. but it was a christian/enviromental/social issues conference. the "POWER" conference! i was in...maybe...grade 8? anyways, i remember they had awesome pens that said "hang on to your hormones! you're worth waiting for!" and on the sides, it said "only the best". i wish i still had it. last year, at spcss, they had a whole bunch of hot pink stickers saying "you're worth waiting for!" at an anti-teenage sex assembly. i remember heidi being the big premarital sex-defender (pre pregnancy) and she asked the born-again virgin speaker, "but how can you say sex after marriage will the best we've ever had if we've never had any before?"
aaaahahahhaha
she has a point though. soo...GO HAVE SEX NOW!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX!!!!
??
what i meant to say was: GO HAVE SEX NOW!! LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX!!!
lol i'm a poo.
i think my dinner is done...ick. i'm a bad cook. and all i had to do was warm up the pre-made stuff. so what i'm talking about (from before) was that andrew met someone who went to the same school as craig k. and he told andrew that craig was kind of snotty, and got off so easy by all the teachers, and didn't have to hand any stuff in. i remember craig k explaining all this to us too, at the power conference. i got all defensive and was like, "*pops out switchcomb* don't you ever talk about c.k. that way!" and then i slowly combed my hair, just like that guy in grease. but people can be so jealous. course i would be too.
just got an email from melissa (the crappy one)...ooo! a potential UN Bus #8 reunion! in...michigan??? awww crraap. i always complain and say they should come to canada instead of making us go the hell down there, but really, it makes so little sense that i don't know why i still argue for a reunion in canada. but here i go again...
i bet i would go to MI to see them though, if i could catch a ride from one of the other canadians (that makes it sound like there's only 5 canadians living in canada) from the UN trip (ahh there we go.). maybe tanya can go there too. HAH. that would be very weird. sometimes, i'll be walking down the street, and i'll have the strongest feeling like i'm going to run into one of them. that'd be neat. very keen. i remember telling chris (not brother) that i was going to be in toronto, and i said "maybe i'll see you on the street or something!" cause i was running out of things to say. then he's like, "oh no, i don't think so. *heh* toronto, you see, is quite a large city. We would be quite the lucky ones to see each other on the street, however, i don't imagine we would *heh*"
i wish you could hear his voice. it's so....guuuuh?
ye-eah, exactly!
i want to go to a rodeo!
lisa promised me that she'd bring me a hallowe'en costume to wear that day at school. she said i could be a slice of birthday cake, that even says "-appy bir-" on the top, in fake icing. except that i won't be able to sit down, cause it's so box-y, so i said i would wear the candle hat instead. she laughed and said it was a really big candle, but i still wanted to wear it. i'll wear the candle on my head, with normal clothes, and stab bratty kids with it, when i'm trying to go up the escalators. they'll ask "are you a candle for hallowe-en?" and i'll say "HOLY CRAP!! IT'S HALLOWE'EN!!!" then i'll take off the candle hat, and say, "guess what i am?? guess what i am??" until security takes me outside.
it'll be fun. it's even written down in my agenda.
...???
iiiiiiiieeeiiiiiii just fiiiniished my homewoooooorrrrrk....beforeteno'clockoooooooeeeeooooooo
mixed with my fabulous broadway dancing...
jealous yet?
finally getting around to browsing some scholarships. all the duedates have prolly already gone by. ah well. more for me. obviously, i excel in the maths.
i was talking about the TD canada trust scholarship wtih kristine, where they pay full tuition (!!!) but you have to get a job at a bank (...) or so was my understanding. anyways, she said, "yeah, i was going to go for it to...until i heard that last year's winner was Craig Keilburger."
"ahh...i see..."
but it just so happened that he was entering university this year. it's no biggie. i'm still gonna try, if i get the time. (excuses..)
here is my claim to fame: Craig Keilburger is enrolled at UofT. His residence is Trinity College, the same college Mark spent all his undergrad at. that bum, what the hell kind of undergrad student gets residence for all 4 years?
anyways. so if you see craig on the street, now you can confidently go up to him and say "hey, why don't we talk anymore? afterall, we're like That (cross fingers), i mean, i read the blog of some girl whose brother lived in the same building as you, except now he's gone, and you're there, but hey! no love lost!"
he'd beat you up. then make you free the children. trust me...i would know! *sob*
..
anyways, more on craig, while i'm remembering..
i saw him in person once! which is cool. at a 'tree-hugger's party' so andrew always called it. but it was a christian/enviromental/social issues conference. the "POWER" conference! i was in...maybe...grade 8? anyways, i remember they had awesome pens that said "hang on to your hormones! you're worth waiting for!" and on the sides, it said "only the best". i wish i still had it. last year, at spcss, they had a whole bunch of hot pink stickers saying "you're worth waiting for!" at an anti-teenage sex assembly. i remember heidi being the big premarital sex-defender (pre pregnancy) and she asked the born-again virgin speaker, "but how can you say sex after marriage will the best we've ever had if we've never had any before?"
aaaahahahhaha
she has a point though. soo...GO HAVE SEX NOW!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX!!!!
??
what i meant to say was: GO HAVE SEX NOW!! LOTS AND LOTS OF SEX!!!
lol i'm a poo.
i think my dinner is done...ick. i'm a bad cook. and all i had to do was warm up the pre-made stuff. so what i'm talking about (from before) was that andrew met someone who went to the same school as craig k. and he told andrew that craig was kind of snotty, and got off so easy by all the teachers, and didn't have to hand any stuff in. i remember craig k explaining all this to us too, at the power conference. i got all defensive and was like, "*pops out switchcomb* don't you ever talk about c.k. that way!" and then i slowly combed my hair, just like that guy in grease. but people can be so jealous. course i would be too.
just got an email from melissa (the crappy one)...ooo! a potential UN Bus #8 reunion! in...michigan??? awww crraap. i always complain and say they should come to canada instead of making us go the hell down there, but really, it makes so little sense that i don't know why i still argue for a reunion in canada. but here i go again...
i bet i would go to MI to see them though, if i could catch a ride from one of the other canadians (that makes it sound like there's only 5 canadians living in canada) from the UN trip (ahh there we go.). maybe tanya can go there too. HAH. that would be very weird. sometimes, i'll be walking down the street, and i'll have the strongest feeling like i'm going to run into one of them. that'd be neat. very keen. i remember telling chris (not brother) that i was going to be in toronto, and i said "maybe i'll see you on the street or something!" cause i was running out of things to say. then he's like, "oh no, i don't think so. *heh* toronto, you see, is quite a large city. We would be quite the lucky ones to see each other on the street, however, i don't imagine we would *heh*"
i wish you could hear his voice. it's so....guuuuh?
ye-eah, exactly!
i want to go to a rodeo!
lisa promised me that she'd bring me a hallowe'en costume to wear that day at school. she said i could be a slice of birthday cake, that even says "-appy bir-" on the top, in fake icing. except that i won't be able to sit down, cause it's so box-y, so i said i would wear the candle hat instead. she laughed and said it was a really big candle, but i still wanted to wear it. i'll wear the candle on my head, with normal clothes, and stab bratty kids with it, when i'm trying to go up the escalators. they'll ask "are you a candle for hallowe-en?" and i'll say "HOLY CRAP!! IT'S HALLOWE'EN!!!" then i'll take off the candle hat, and say, "guess what i am?? guess what i am??" until security takes me outside.
it'll be fun. it's even written down in my agenda.
...???
posted by sws at
9:54:00 PM
laurie mentioned what looked like the female version of raffi...
but i don't care if she invented the hug bug or not..
cause she's giving me the finger!
but i don't care if she invented the hug bug or not..
cause she's giving me the finger!
posted by sws at
8:18:00 PM
Saturday, October 19, 2002
i want to go to school where it's all china born chinese people. to see what it's like. i regret being ignorant about my own culture.
i'm so proud of robin! he was seen as a big loser at his old school, and was beaten up on a lot, and shoved around, made fun of. all he had was his high marks to comfort him, sadly. that was the only way to beat the jerks who treated him like shit. i remember in the beginning of the semester, andrea, who went to his old school too, would talk about him in a condensending tone, and him about her the same way. he was kind of a jerk, and was really competitive. but now, he's totally changed. he's really nice, and really supportive, and since he's so smart, he's a lot of good help. seriously, i think he is a math genius. i'm not kidding. he does it all the time, and does it for fun, and he finds it so entertaining, and it can be, i guess, if you just look at it like a bunch of puzzles. he's a good teacher too, and he was sort of tutoring me and the other pple going to Tournament of Towns (a math contest) tomorrow, but since i'm the only one whose doing it that doesn't excel in math, it was more like he was just tutoring me. you can tell he's a lot happier here, where no one knows about who you were before, or your reputations, and everyone tries to get along together. i'm glad he got a chance to show his old school how he's happy here, and people aren't jerks to him.
i get so mad thinking about how some of the geekier kids at oscss must have been treated for soo long at their old schools...
now i know what andrew meant when he said "all the "losers" at high school are the most funny and interesting people. the ones everyone tries to be like are all fake and annoying." it's so true. cause the people who take people for granted, they well...take you for granted. and they try to keep up an image that's really bland, so that everyone will like them. they're just neutral...or else try too hard to be something else. it's true though. i have this one example in mind, but i won't name him. besides, emma would get jealous. lol
it looks like there's going to be no hooking up at this school, which makes me really happy, cause stuff like that would mess a lot of things up here. a lot of awkwardness.
last friday, krystan and i pretty much hung out all chem spare. it was awkward though! i don't know why. around other pple, we act normal and crack dumb jokes that would offend each other if we didn't get along, but when we were just walking around alone, it was so weird. maybe it was because he was in a labcoat, and i wasn't, and he was whipping me with his sweater, as i tried to run away.
that sounds like a really really messed up scene...
eh...i thought i had a point in all this talk...ah well...
oh yes. this all relates to my dislike of hanging out in twos. it's alright with certain people, but with others, it's just...too awkward..having to keep up a convo...i think it's with talk-y people that i get that way. but he wasn't being talk-y...arg...i'll stop...
i'm so proud of robin! he was seen as a big loser at his old school, and was beaten up on a lot, and shoved around, made fun of. all he had was his high marks to comfort him, sadly. that was the only way to beat the jerks who treated him like shit. i remember in the beginning of the semester, andrea, who went to his old school too, would talk about him in a condensending tone, and him about her the same way. he was kind of a jerk, and was really competitive. but now, he's totally changed. he's really nice, and really supportive, and since he's so smart, he's a lot of good help. seriously, i think he is a math genius. i'm not kidding. he does it all the time, and does it for fun, and he finds it so entertaining, and it can be, i guess, if you just look at it like a bunch of puzzles. he's a good teacher too, and he was sort of tutoring me and the other pple going to Tournament of Towns (a math contest) tomorrow, but since i'm the only one whose doing it that doesn't excel in math, it was more like he was just tutoring me. you can tell he's a lot happier here, where no one knows about who you were before, or your reputations, and everyone tries to get along together. i'm glad he got a chance to show his old school how he's happy here, and people aren't jerks to him.
i get so mad thinking about how some of the geekier kids at oscss must have been treated for soo long at their old schools...
now i know what andrew meant when he said "all the "losers" at high school are the most funny and interesting people. the ones everyone tries to be like are all fake and annoying." it's so true. cause the people who take people for granted, they well...take you for granted. and they try to keep up an image that's really bland, so that everyone will like them. they're just neutral...or else try too hard to be something else. it's true though. i have this one example in mind, but i won't name him. besides, emma would get jealous. lol
it looks like there's going to be no hooking up at this school, which makes me really happy, cause stuff like that would mess a lot of things up here. a lot of awkwardness.
last friday, krystan and i pretty much hung out all chem spare. it was awkward though! i don't know why. around other pple, we act normal and crack dumb jokes that would offend each other if we didn't get along, but when we were just walking around alone, it was so weird. maybe it was because he was in a labcoat, and i wasn't, and he was whipping me with his sweater, as i tried to run away.
that sounds like a really really messed up scene...
eh...i thought i had a point in all this talk...ah well...
oh yes. this all relates to my dislike of hanging out in twos. it's alright with certain people, but with others, it's just...too awkward..having to keep up a convo...i think it's with talk-y people that i get that way. but he wasn't being talk-y...arg...i'll stop...
posted by sws at
10:53:00 PM
i'm all for the numbered letter lists.
in school, whenever there's a question labed 1.a), (<---for example) i always call it "number a" by accident. a surprisingly number of people notice it shockingly quickly. it's almost like they're listening for it.
i was seriously considering going to the Pedro The Lion concert julia was blabbering about...
a) because i wanted to see what they sounded like
b) it's only $10.50
c) to piss her off.
but then:
a) all those reasons suck, considering i've never heard of the guy. or god, as julia makes him seem like.
anyhoo.
i was looking for concerts i'd actually be interested in, and i found that sam roberts is playing in oct!
but turned out it was this w/e. (oh the drama! -jo)
so then i keep looking, and i find out that jack johnson is playing in nov!! (the plot thickens)
but turned out i can't find a ticket. for some odd reason. most likely laurie. (that bitch!)
what a bad story.
emma smells like poo.
i like that word. guess which one i'm talking about.
sicko!
yeah, you're right, actually.
in school, whenever there's a question labed 1.a), (<---for example) i always call it "number a" by accident. a surprisingly number of people notice it shockingly quickly. it's almost like they're listening for it.
i was seriously considering going to the Pedro The Lion concert julia was blabbering about...
a) because i wanted to see what they sounded like
b) it's only $10.50
c) to piss her off.
but then:
a) all those reasons suck, considering i've never heard of the guy. or god, as julia makes him seem like.
anyhoo.
i was looking for concerts i'd actually be interested in, and i found that sam roberts is playing in oct!
but turned out it was this w/e. (oh the drama! -jo)
so then i keep looking, and i find out that jack johnson is playing in nov!! (the plot thickens)
but turned out i can't find a ticket. for some odd reason. most likely laurie. (that bitch!)
what a bad story.
emma smells like poo.
i like that word. guess which one i'm talking about.
sicko!
yeah, you're right, actually.
posted by sws at
5:43:00 PM
rosco's favourite new toy: an empty toilet paper roll.
he likes to stick his head in it, and walk around with it on.
he likes to stick his head in it, and walk around with it on.
posted by sws at
3:09:00 PM
Friday, October 18, 2002
Thursday, October 17, 2002
i just got an email from some girl i never talk to. it was a chain letter. the opener was: (by the way, she's american)
Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just buy from gas companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis. Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my friends. I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from.
i'm not sure what i think
i feel offended somehow. as in this seems like an ignorant thing to say...yet i know nothing about all this stuff..i only know what media says.
Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just buy from gas companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis. Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my friends. I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from.
i'm not sure what i think
i feel offended somehow. as in this seems like an ignorant thing to say...yet i know nothing about all this stuff..i only know what media says.
posted by sws at
10:08:00 PM
just talked to my mom.
i dunno what happened. i broke down and started crying when talking about my calc test. it was the whole thing (that it always is) how i tried so hard, and was so confident coming in, and understood all the concepts, and did all the review....yet bombed.
jen finished early and asked mike what to do (i mean, why the fuck would you do that? just fucking sit there and go to sleep, dumbass) and so he told her to try the other questions on the test. we got to pick and choose which questions to do on the test.
this is how it was set up:
one question, made up of about 9 parts, involving velocities, positions, accelerations, and jerk. many of my answers contradicted each other. i think it's because i had the quadratic equation wrong. i didn't know we had to have it memorized, since mike always let us use our agendas for equations.
"choose 3 of 5 of these questions"
i did fine on this, i think. these were questions like the ones we'd get for homework.
"choose one of the following questions".
hard ones. the ones we'd do occasionally, and we'd ask if they'd be on the test, and he'd say "no, only as a bonus, if anything". so there it is...on the test...not as a bonus.
i didn't even get a fucking answer!!!! meanwhile, after test, everyone crowds together and discusses their answers together. i just leave. there was filming being done in front of the stairway to the student lounge, so i go the long way back. i see robin running the opposite way, he's late for chem (did i mention i was 20 minutes late for the test this morning?) and he says (like he always does) "oh how was the test?" probably looking for "it was impossible!" so that he'll feel good about having finished it. no. i take that back. he was just being nice. i say "it was alright." in an offhanded way. i think i was in shock that i sucked so much. i go to the student lounge, krystan and lisa are there. he goes "it's steeephanie sun..." i say nothing. he goes "she doens't seem to sunny today". lisa says "we had a calc test this morning. that's probably why." i say "ugh...let's not talk about calc..." it still hasn't sunk in. i go do chinese bowl praticum, and when i'm not bored and trying desperately to attract visitors, i'm swarmed by little kids, who are shoving each other out of the way to get to the bowl, and teachers who are yelling and losing control of their class. At least i know what a bad teacher is like, from all this. I lost control of them too, though. it's hard to be all enthusiastic and peppy, and nice and to get them to feel comfy around you, while telling them "no, you can't go. stop that. don't touch that. take that out of your mouth!".
the host who saw me (he's cool. for some reason, he's always playing kazoo. i always catch him doing weird stuff.) and signed my sheet told me he likes to give us advice, and he watches us closely when we do praticum. he told me to work on my "crowd-control". meh. it's true. no complaints.
then i come home. dave is here. stephanie comes over. i watch mod for julia. i see her. i turn it off, and warm up dinner. start homework. mom calls, and here we are again. she felt so bad for me, i could tell. she was telling me not to worrry, and i'm telling her how no matter how hard i try, there's always someone who is better, and even if i do everything possible to be as good as them, i can't even be compared to them in the end. i used to think i was great at math and sciences. now i know better. i dunno if being told i was gifted was a good thing or a bad thing. i don't think there's such thing as being gifted though. no...i actually don't think there's such a thing as not being gifted. at least..i can see now that i'm not gifted the way i always thought i was. my whole family is amazingly smart. so somehow...deep down, i thought it was a genetic thing, which made it a guaranteed thing. like it was unchangable. but...i guess it skipped me.
i feel so disappointed in myself. but i'm still blaming it on everything else. i'm so delusional.
i tell my mom: there's no way not to compare yourself to them. they force it on you every time they tell you how they did, and everytime they ask how you did, and everytime you ask for help and they say, "oh that's easy.".
she says : why do you think they do that? brag like that?
i say: i dunno. they're socially handicapped.
she says: well aren't you glad you're not socially handicapped? who cares about calculus and math when you're just a big nerd and can't function in society? all they have is high marks. wouldn't you rather have friends? (lol. my mom. if she listened to what she was saying...)
me: but marks is what matters. *i start thinking about the new projections for next year's number of graduates being accepted to universities. suddenly, i'm not getting in. i never ever thought of not getting in a university. but ..fuck. dayna has a 92. i got 68 on my last bio test. because it was on ecology, and one question was: list these organisms in a table, according to their type of consumers. i thought it meant list it in order of what consumes them. so for..say...seagull, i put decomposer. what it really meant was put what they were. so seagull was scavenger. fuck, who cares?! that's not a fact!! it's some lameass bullshit terminology some guy made up cause he was a neat-freak. the test was so...so....unfactual.
i wish i was the only one in calc. it's not the material that's stressful. it's the people in my class. it feels so...dog eat dog. everyone's against each other. then you step outside the class, and it's all "oh! let's go play ultimate!!"
we did a lab in bio today, that was almost exactly like one we did with ms.J last year. with livers. only this time it was with livers and potatoes. and sand.
bio labs are fun. because we goof off so much, but gabe is all okay with it. as long as we're safe.
sigh.
i cried so much, talking to my mom.
i feel horrible still.
andrew is so smart. he's a natural.
i remember him telling me how it's not fair that i didn't have to work for any of my accomplishments. as in for the UN speech, i wrote it 2 days before i had to give it. and i competed with 7 other people, and got a spot. meanwhile, he said he remembered when mark did his UN speech, he spent half a year on it, recited it over and over, competed against one other guy, and won.
this was all when andrew was mad at me one time, a long time ago. he went on to say that i don't know what hard work is, and that everything comes naturally to me, and that other people have to slave away for hours doing what i do in 5 minutes.
god. he was so wrong.
but he was right in the way that i didn't know what the hell hard work was. i was such a slacker before.
i hate not being best.
i'm sick. why do i have to be the best?
well wouldn't anyone want to be the best?
i'm so obsessed. it's a disease! har...har...
i'm so average. i always have been, i just never saw it.
andrew was just mad cause he tried so hard at swimming, and compared to him, i was a "natural". but i suck at that now too. i can't believe i just stopped. i dont' blame robyn for hating me for not going to practices. i can't believe she told me she hated me simply for not practicing.
if people have to be the best. please don't gloat. in fact, please try to be very modest. try to hide it.
i feel really alienated. and cut off.
i miss not having to work for anything.
i mean..i miss having my work having an effect.
i'm so angry about the test! and about everything.
don' t think that i'd drop out, or not do this if i could redo it. it's just...i hate reality checks. i'm really mad that i'm so unprepared for everything.
everything sucks.
robot presentation tomorrow. steve the hazard aka robot king is coming in tomorrow to listen in and give suggestions. i have a feeling he's going to manage to throw out our whole idea. which we changed today, again. now we're going for lightweights.
dave and steph went to the dashboard c. concert.
steph thinks he's cute.
dave said he saw them in a small café back in boston, a long time ago. before they were famous. i was in awe.
then steph said "he just wants you to think he's cool"
i like her.
andrew stayed up till 2am last night, helping me out with the scisoc assignment. it was a math/physics prob, and we did it over the internet/phone. i could tell he was frustrated. i don't want to call him for help anymore. he had a test today, and didn't do so well. i feel guilty. he even said "why dont' you ever call one of your friends for help?"
i didn't say this, but it's cause i don't want them to know i'm struggling. i'm desperately trying to hold on to any more so-called dignity i have left. in the academic part that is.
i never realized how much emphasis i put on academia and marks, and being smart, and top of class. i'm such a fucking loser!
if you read this, seriously, don't try to comfort me. i don't appreciate it. at least not right now, in the mood i'm in.
ha...ha..i'm festive.
blogs suck.
i'm way too competitive sometimes. it's almost...well it is..disgusting. but it's motivational at the same time...
i want to punch someone everytime they say "oh that's gay". yet i don't have the guts to tell them "don't say that."
i used to be so happy with myself.
i hate school. no. i hate people who are naturals at everything. i try so hard....and nothing works.
actually..i'm just bullshitting myself. i don't try nearly as hard as i could. i have to try harder...i just have to break these bad habits and work harder.
i'm gonna ask mike to give me more calc problems from the last unit we just finished. i want to be able to do them no sweat. i'm gonna ask for the hard ones, then hound him to help me.
mom says i should have the tutor come everyday. i'm seriously considering that. it's insane.
i miss having...something that...i was..special at.
...
...
i dunno either.
i'm sick of complaining. so i'm going to stop.
i dunno what happened. i broke down and started crying when talking about my calc test. it was the whole thing (that it always is) how i tried so hard, and was so confident coming in, and understood all the concepts, and did all the review....yet bombed.
jen finished early and asked mike what to do (i mean, why the fuck would you do that? just fucking sit there and go to sleep, dumbass) and so he told her to try the other questions on the test. we got to pick and choose which questions to do on the test.
this is how it was set up:
one question, made up of about 9 parts, involving velocities, positions, accelerations, and jerk. many of my answers contradicted each other. i think it's because i had the quadratic equation wrong. i didn't know we had to have it memorized, since mike always let us use our agendas for equations.
"choose 3 of 5 of these questions"
i did fine on this, i think. these were questions like the ones we'd get for homework.
"choose one of the following questions".
hard ones. the ones we'd do occasionally, and we'd ask if they'd be on the test, and he'd say "no, only as a bonus, if anything". so there it is...on the test...not as a bonus.
i didn't even get a fucking answer!!!! meanwhile, after test, everyone crowds together and discusses their answers together. i just leave. there was filming being done in front of the stairway to the student lounge, so i go the long way back. i see robin running the opposite way, he's late for chem (did i mention i was 20 minutes late for the test this morning?) and he says (like he always does) "oh how was the test?" probably looking for "it was impossible!" so that he'll feel good about having finished it. no. i take that back. he was just being nice. i say "it was alright." in an offhanded way. i think i was in shock that i sucked so much. i go to the student lounge, krystan and lisa are there. he goes "it's steeephanie sun..." i say nothing. he goes "she doens't seem to sunny today". lisa says "we had a calc test this morning. that's probably why." i say "ugh...let's not talk about calc..." it still hasn't sunk in. i go do chinese bowl praticum, and when i'm not bored and trying desperately to attract visitors, i'm swarmed by little kids, who are shoving each other out of the way to get to the bowl, and teachers who are yelling and losing control of their class. At least i know what a bad teacher is like, from all this. I lost control of them too, though. it's hard to be all enthusiastic and peppy, and nice and to get them to feel comfy around you, while telling them "no, you can't go. stop that. don't touch that. take that out of your mouth!".
the host who saw me (he's cool. for some reason, he's always playing kazoo. i always catch him doing weird stuff.) and signed my sheet told me he likes to give us advice, and he watches us closely when we do praticum. he told me to work on my "crowd-control". meh. it's true. no complaints.
then i come home. dave is here. stephanie comes over. i watch mod for julia. i see her. i turn it off, and warm up dinner. start homework. mom calls, and here we are again. she felt so bad for me, i could tell. she was telling me not to worrry, and i'm telling her how no matter how hard i try, there's always someone who is better, and even if i do everything possible to be as good as them, i can't even be compared to them in the end. i used to think i was great at math and sciences. now i know better. i dunno if being told i was gifted was a good thing or a bad thing. i don't think there's such thing as being gifted though. no...i actually don't think there's such a thing as not being gifted. at least..i can see now that i'm not gifted the way i always thought i was. my whole family is amazingly smart. so somehow...deep down, i thought it was a genetic thing, which made it a guaranteed thing. like it was unchangable. but...i guess it skipped me.
i feel so disappointed in myself. but i'm still blaming it on everything else. i'm so delusional.
i tell my mom: there's no way not to compare yourself to them. they force it on you every time they tell you how they did, and everytime they ask how you did, and everytime you ask for help and they say, "oh that's easy.".
she says : why do you think they do that? brag like that?
i say: i dunno. they're socially handicapped.
she says: well aren't you glad you're not socially handicapped? who cares about calculus and math when you're just a big nerd and can't function in society? all they have is high marks. wouldn't you rather have friends? (lol. my mom. if she listened to what she was saying...)
me: but marks is what matters. *i start thinking about the new projections for next year's number of graduates being accepted to universities. suddenly, i'm not getting in. i never ever thought of not getting in a university. but ..fuck. dayna has a 92. i got 68 on my last bio test. because it was on ecology, and one question was: list these organisms in a table, according to their type of consumers. i thought it meant list it in order of what consumes them. so for..say...seagull, i put decomposer. what it really meant was put what they were. so seagull was scavenger. fuck, who cares?! that's not a fact!! it's some lameass bullshit terminology some guy made up cause he was a neat-freak. the test was so...so....unfactual.
i wish i was the only one in calc. it's not the material that's stressful. it's the people in my class. it feels so...dog eat dog. everyone's against each other. then you step outside the class, and it's all "oh! let's go play ultimate!!"
we did a lab in bio today, that was almost exactly like one we did with ms.J last year. with livers. only this time it was with livers and potatoes. and sand.
bio labs are fun. because we goof off so much, but gabe is all okay with it. as long as we're safe.
sigh.
i cried so much, talking to my mom.
i feel horrible still.
andrew is so smart. he's a natural.
i remember him telling me how it's not fair that i didn't have to work for any of my accomplishments. as in for the UN speech, i wrote it 2 days before i had to give it. and i competed with 7 other people, and got a spot. meanwhile, he said he remembered when mark did his UN speech, he spent half a year on it, recited it over and over, competed against one other guy, and won.
this was all when andrew was mad at me one time, a long time ago. he went on to say that i don't know what hard work is, and that everything comes naturally to me, and that other people have to slave away for hours doing what i do in 5 minutes.
god. he was so wrong.
but he was right in the way that i didn't know what the hell hard work was. i was such a slacker before.
i hate not being best.
i'm sick. why do i have to be the best?
well wouldn't anyone want to be the best?
i'm so obsessed. it's a disease! har...har...
i'm so average. i always have been, i just never saw it.
andrew was just mad cause he tried so hard at swimming, and compared to him, i was a "natural". but i suck at that now too. i can't believe i just stopped. i dont' blame robyn for hating me for not going to practices. i can't believe she told me she hated me simply for not practicing.
if people have to be the best. please don't gloat. in fact, please try to be very modest. try to hide it.
i feel really alienated. and cut off.
i miss not having to work for anything.
i mean..i miss having my work having an effect.
i'm so angry about the test! and about everything.
don' t think that i'd drop out, or not do this if i could redo it. it's just...i hate reality checks. i'm really mad that i'm so unprepared for everything.
everything sucks.
robot presentation tomorrow. steve the hazard aka robot king is coming in tomorrow to listen in and give suggestions. i have a feeling he's going to manage to throw out our whole idea. which we changed today, again. now we're going for lightweights.
dave and steph went to the dashboard c. concert.
steph thinks he's cute.
dave said he saw them in a small café back in boston, a long time ago. before they were famous. i was in awe.
then steph said "he just wants you to think he's cool"
i like her.
andrew stayed up till 2am last night, helping me out with the scisoc assignment. it was a math/physics prob, and we did it over the internet/phone. i could tell he was frustrated. i don't want to call him for help anymore. he had a test today, and didn't do so well. i feel guilty. he even said "why dont' you ever call one of your friends for help?"
i didn't say this, but it's cause i don't want them to know i'm struggling. i'm desperately trying to hold on to any more so-called dignity i have left. in the academic part that is.
i never realized how much emphasis i put on academia and marks, and being smart, and top of class. i'm such a fucking loser!
if you read this, seriously, don't try to comfort me. i don't appreciate it. at least not right now, in the mood i'm in.
ha...ha..i'm festive.
blogs suck.
i'm way too competitive sometimes. it's almost...well it is..disgusting. but it's motivational at the same time...
i want to punch someone everytime they say "oh that's gay". yet i don't have the guts to tell them "don't say that."
i used to be so happy with myself.
i hate school. no. i hate people who are naturals at everything. i try so hard....and nothing works.
actually..i'm just bullshitting myself. i don't try nearly as hard as i could. i have to try harder...i just have to break these bad habits and work harder.
i'm gonna ask mike to give me more calc problems from the last unit we just finished. i want to be able to do them no sweat. i'm gonna ask for the hard ones, then hound him to help me.
mom says i should have the tutor come everyday. i'm seriously considering that. it's insane.
i miss having...something that...i was..special at.
...
...
i dunno either.
i'm sick of complaining. so i'm going to stop.
posted by sws at
9:54:00 PM
well...some are good.
but i think i know what's going on.
on other news..
hm...there is no other news i'm willing to share.
AAAGH! I MISS HIM!! and i don't know why...
but i think i know what's going on.
on other news..
hm...there is no other news i'm willing to share.
AAAGH! I MISS HIM!! and i don't know why...
posted by sws at
8:12:00 PM
calc test today.
i don't want to talk about it.
i was watching much on demand looking for julia. she was right behind the dashbored guy, (hehe) and seriously, the camera was obviously trying to keep her in the shot, cause she was so...excited...she looked like a giddy little girl, and kept taking big breaths. it looked like she had just ran a mile, while crying. i remember this one shot, where it was a quick overview of the crowd, and they were all applauding, but she was clapping like a little kid, and then started rocking back and forth. seriously, all the girls there were grinning ear to ear. all the guys were looking tortured. it was funny.
i tried calling, she turned off her phone. boo.
it reminds me of when i went to a collective soul concert, and i felt like crying, i was so happy. i still can't believe i was so close to them. anyways, that's all for now.
i don't want to talk about it.
i was watching much on demand looking for julia. she was right behind the dashbored guy, (hehe) and seriously, the camera was obviously trying to keep her in the shot, cause she was so...excited...she looked like a giddy little girl, and kept taking big breaths. it looked like she had just ran a mile, while crying. i remember this one shot, where it was a quick overview of the crowd, and they were all applauding, but she was clapping like a little kid, and then started rocking back and forth. seriously, all the girls there were grinning ear to ear. all the guys were looking tortured. it was funny.
i tried calling, she turned off her phone. boo.
it reminds me of when i went to a collective soul concert, and i felt like crying, i was so happy. i still can't believe i was so close to them. anyways, that's all for now.
posted by sws at
6:07:00 PM
89.5% on latest calc test.
i was extremely proud. i got it back, and read "Great!" from mike. i'm pleased. as soon as i sat down, kelvin goes, "did you get a 'superstar'?" i look on his. he got over 100% (damn bonus marks) and had "superstar!" written on his.
now you know what my life is like at oscss. everyday.
but at least i'm slowly and painfully learning not to compare myself with other people. lol. selective competition. that way i'll always be the best. ahahaha
i don't want dave to come over. i have to clean the house again. and keep rosco in his cage. and be piss with the door shut. lol. what a bitch civilization can be.
i'm gross at 1:15 am. in too many ways.
i was extremely proud. i got it back, and read "Great!" from mike. i'm pleased. as soon as i sat down, kelvin goes, "did you get a 'superstar'?" i look on his. he got over 100% (damn bonus marks) and had "superstar!" written on his.
now you know what my life is like at oscss. everyday.
but at least i'm slowly and painfully learning not to compare myself with other people. lol. selective competition. that way i'll always be the best. ahahaha
i don't want dave to come over. i have to clean the house again. and keep rosco in his cage. and be piss with the door shut. lol. what a bitch civilization can be.
i'm gross at 1:15 am. in too many ways.
posted by sws at
1:12:00 AM
my blog has a rating of 9.9 out of 10.
want to know why? because two people have voted. and what's sad is..i know who they are. shannon and julia.
i bet shannon gave me the 10, and julia gave me the 9.
ah well. i'll take whatever i can get.
this sci soc ass is all physics shit. and it's all easy crap from last year. and turns out..i forgot it all. i hate that.
calc test tomorrow. i didn't do any of the review ques. but my tutor came over. it was a pretty useless lesson.
want to know why? because two people have voted. and what's sad is..i know who they are. shannon and julia.
i bet shannon gave me the 10, and julia gave me the 9.
ah well. i'll take whatever i can get.
this sci soc ass is all physics shit. and it's all easy crap from last year. and turns out..i forgot it all. i hate that.
calc test tomorrow. i didn't do any of the review ques. but my tutor came over. it was a pretty useless lesson.
posted by sws at
1:08:00 AM
Wednesday, October 16, 2002
whoa...you're gonna barf when you read this but i just realized dave's long-time onagain off again girlfriend/best friend's name is Stephanie.
posted by sws at
9:57:00 PM
rosco is screeching and screaming because i left the room.
i think i use that exact picture every time i link the word "rosco". i just dont' want people to think it's my child or something. then i'd get arrested.
"i chased rosco around for 10 minutes before locking him in his cage! his crap is all over my clothes, and a cat almost ate him. i was gonna give him new food, but since he didn't finish his little bucket of seeds, i didn't." and so on...
dave called. my cousin. this is his house. or was...i've mentioned him before. if we weren't related (or, if i was from Madoc), i'd probably have a crush on him. it's disturbing that i know this.
he's coming home from boston tomorrow morning. so i have to clean the house tonight. damn. he didn't call to tell me to clean, just so you know (..i dont' know! maybe you thought that!! yeesh). he's not leaving till tues. i should tell kristine not to expect a place to stay thursday. ah well. she'll find out somehow.
i never realized david and i were alike. in superficial ways. other than the fact we are related, but cause when he called, we kept pausing at same time, and starting to talk at same time, then saying "oh sorry" at same time, then saying "what were you about to say?" at same time. using same words.
i bet emma is thinking "i bet david doesn't exist, and she's just going insane. she had a convo with some voice in her head named david".
emma is mean.
unless she didn't think that.
then she's cool.
but i know you thought that. jerk.
i think i use that exact picture every time i link the word "rosco". i just dont' want people to think it's my child or something. then i'd get arrested.
"i chased rosco around for 10 minutes before locking him in his cage! his crap is all over my clothes, and a cat almost ate him. i was gonna give him new food, but since he didn't finish his little bucket of seeds, i didn't." and so on...
dave called. my cousin. this is his house. or was...i've mentioned him before. if we weren't related (or, if i was from Madoc), i'd probably have a crush on him. it's disturbing that i know this.
he's coming home from boston tomorrow morning. so i have to clean the house tonight. damn. he didn't call to tell me to clean, just so you know (..i dont' know! maybe you thought that!! yeesh). he's not leaving till tues. i should tell kristine not to expect a place to stay thursday. ah well. she'll find out somehow.
i never realized david and i were alike. in superficial ways. other than the fact we are related, but cause when he called, we kept pausing at same time, and starting to talk at same time, then saying "oh sorry" at same time, then saying "what were you about to say?" at same time. using same words.
i bet emma is thinking "i bet david doesn't exist, and she's just going insane. she had a convo with some voice in her head named david".
emma is mean.
unless she didn't think that.
then she's cool.
but i know you thought that. jerk.
posted by sws at
9:49:00 PM
i added a "rate my blog!" link to this pg.
i feel like i'm some insecure loser looking for proof of acceptance.
...or something like that.
lol
i swear! i'm not!
..or am i?
yeah, i agree. this is getting annoying.
cliff just called!!!
...to ask about a SciSoc assignment. i should have told him "the answer is..to not gel your hair. ever again...seriously..don't." it's become an obsession. i swear.
i always feel happy when pple from school call. because they gave us this list of everyone's names and numbers, and you'd think that if everyone was equal, the first person on the list would get called the most. but since i'm somewhere lost on the 2nd page, i feel happy that they think i can help them out.
obviously, i don't get calls very often
hahahahahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahaaahohhhh it's so true. *sob!*
i feel like i'm some insecure loser looking for proof of acceptance.
...or something like that.
lol
i swear! i'm not!
..or am i?
yeah, i agree. this is getting annoying.
cliff just called!!!
...to ask about a SciSoc assignment. i should have told him "the answer is..to not gel your hair. ever again...seriously..don't." it's become an obsession. i swear.
i always feel happy when pple from school call. because they gave us this list of everyone's names and numbers, and you'd think that if everyone was equal, the first person on the list would get called the most. but since i'm somewhere lost on the 2nd page, i feel happy that they think i can help them out.
obviously, i don't get calls very often
hahahahahahhahahahahahahhaahhahahahaaahohhhh it's so true. *sob!*
posted by sws at
9:19:00 PM
rosco is trying to push a blue disk onthe floor. but i keep making it push him back, but he can't see what's making it move. so he's sqeaking and talking to it. it's a fight. and he's losing to a computer disk.
i found a vanessa-mae cd, and i hear a lot about her, but wonder what she sounds like. and what the big deal is, cause it's just classical music. but holy crapolies. it's techno classical!!! it's insane!!! but i like it!!
plus she's really good. i want to learn violin too.
my plan to call emma at school during her bday didn'twork. i'm lameo.
laura showed me her agenda today, in bio, where it says:
oct. 25.
Bio Test! but mostly steph's bday. remember to give her all the wonderful gifts you bought her.
i wrote the last bit a month ago.
i laughed. then (literally) 5 minutes later, i shouted out "ohyeah!! it's my birthday next week!!"
sss....ssss....ssslow....i think i'm...slow..
i dunno if they really knew i was still 16 or what, but they someone said, "we should go drinking!" "oh yeah! she's turning 18!"
me in a small voice: "ohhhhh.....i'm turning 17.."
"17?! you're still 16??!"
"no...i'm just turning 17...it's a funny story actually...hm....back to bio..."
i dont' care about being yonger, but i don't want to think about my bday too much this year. because i love birthdays, but since i don't have anyone to celebrate with, i don't want to think about it. i know something will happen, as in someone will remember to say "happy birthday!" without me telling them to...but...at least this way anything will be a good thing.
sad? maybe.
meh. that's the way it goes. especially after having high expectations never reached. geez. i don't even know which expectation i'm talking about anymore. there's too many of those.
i found a vanessa-mae cd, and i hear a lot about her, but wonder what she sounds like. and what the big deal is, cause it's just classical music. but holy crapolies. it's techno classical!!! it's insane!!! but i like it!!
plus she's really good. i want to learn violin too.
my plan to call emma at school during her bday didn'twork. i'm lameo.
laura showed me her agenda today, in bio, where it says:
oct. 25.
Bio Test! but mostly steph's bday. remember to give her all the wonderful gifts you bought her.
i wrote the last bit a month ago.
i laughed. then (literally) 5 minutes later, i shouted out "ohyeah!! it's my birthday next week!!"
sss....ssss....ssslow....i think i'm...slow..
i dunno if they really knew i was still 16 or what, but they someone said, "we should go drinking!" "oh yeah! she's turning 18!"
me in a small voice: "ohhhhh.....i'm turning 17.."
"17?! you're still 16??!"
"no...i'm just turning 17...it's a funny story actually...hm....back to bio..."
i dont' care about being yonger, but i don't want to think about my bday too much this year. because i love birthdays, but since i don't have anyone to celebrate with, i don't want to think about it. i know something will happen, as in someone will remember to say "happy birthday!" without me telling them to...but...at least this way anything will be a good thing.
sad? maybe.
meh. that's the way it goes. especially after having high expectations never reached. geez. i don't even know which expectation i'm talking about anymore. there's too many of those.
posted by sws at
8:39:00 PM
kristine did stay over last night. she's so messy.
i left to check stuff and when i came back in kitchen,she was pulling out a tiny baggy of weird green herbs. she was analyzing them and sniffing them.i yelled,"KRISTINE!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
it was hilarious. they were really chinese tea herbs. she carries them around, i guess, cause it helps her stay awake, but doesn't taste like shit. so she made tea. while it kept her up till 2am, it made me sleepy. but maybe it was the fact i had gotten 3 hours sleep that made me sleepy. maybe it really was pot. that'd be hilarious. but no, just so you don't get funny ideas, it was really tea leaves.
today was the press conference for OSC's new imax movie; Space Station. the maker of film, and 2 astronauts were there too. one of them was in the movie. we thought one of them would be marc garneau (cause you know...marc garneau is the only canadian astronaut there is.), we were allowed to go, and for once, everyone wore their labcoats.and we knew they were sitting behind us, cause we saw them come in the dark theatre. so i dared kelvin to yell out "MARC GARNEAU!! WE LOVE YOU!!" because there's so many people in our class that want to be astronauts. so he did, and i cheered. but he got in trouble. by amanda, the vice (the vice's always get students in trouble. no matter where you go. i wonder what principals do that vice's don't). i felt painfully embarassed for him. he told me he was gonna "kick me in the face" for making him do that. the fact that kelvin is the living definition of a mama's boy, makes his statement hilarious and scary at the same time.
talking about embarassment...well this was just funny.
last time we went to see an imax movie, we (lisa, richard, josh, robin, and i) were saying that when we go to the space station premiere, we should wear cardboard boxes on our heads, with a little "viewhole" cut out, and "astronaut" written on the front. i didn't expect them to actually do it. just lisa, rich, josh and robin. but still. they hung out in a circle, and were wearing their labbies. they were being picked on from us flicking them in the back of the heads, and spinning their boxes so they couldnt' see. they got in a circle, and started head butting each other. à la simpsons style.
later, lisa told me that when she was going to biology with the box on, a bunch of hosts surrounded her and were pushing her around, going "astro NOT! astro NOT!!" and were spinning the box, stole her glasses, flicking her in the back of the head.
i love the hosts.
glen is a boy how used to be a student of gabe's. he works at OSC now, but he's a 3rd year at toronto. he looks almost my age, yet you can see how he's in his 20s...he looks like he could be almost any age. it's a fun thing. anyways, he comes in to help us out sometimes, and since he wants to be a teacher, it's cool. but...either he's got his whole teaching technique wrong, or he has a crush on some of gabe's students.
i think..me.
iee..
you're probably thinking, "well the first one is more likely than the latter. you're being a drama queen." but seriously! i don't try to look for these things, and it's not like i think it's something to brag about. it's...true...iee squared. lol.
speaking of squares.
one lunch hour a few days ago, we were discussing pick up lines. i remember telling this in blog b4. ah well. after guys told some pretty lame and disgusting one, alex girl says, well i have one for all the calculus nerds. it goes..
hey baby. let's find your derivative so i can tangent your curves.
hilaaaahrious!
but i bet if it was a guy who said it, i'd be like, "oh that's horrid!" *monacle falls out of eye and brakes*
kristine said, "i want a boyfriend. don't tell anyone (so of course, the natural thing is to post it on the internet) but i'm telling you cause i'm comfortable around you."
lol i didn't 'mean to compliment myself there. this was supposed to be about kristine. so it goes on...
she said how she gets mad at herself for saying that, cause she used to be all about making fun of girls who complained about wanting boyfriends, but never had a guy in mind, and who were desperate like that. i said, maybe it's just cause you actually like someone now.
i think i know what she means though. it's not that you want a boyfriend, it's that the feeling of genuinely liking someone, and knowing they like you back is nice. it's different.
so really, unless you are a social outcast by your own fault, everyone feels this way.
she's just lonely. har har..
dammit. b is pissing the hell out of me lately. okay, so we (science students) can be pretty perverted and lame, and cracking politically incorrect jokes, but not more than most teenagers are. but seriously, B doesn't know when to quit. it's fucking annoying now. he's indian, and he's really proud of it. which is alright, but tiresome when it's overdone. i don't know if it's cause he feels pretty out of place in "this new land". he blames all his not knowing what a dominatrix, orchid, martha stewart, dr.phil, madonna, earwig, child molestor, wife-beater is because he doesn't know about "this culture". ignore the fact he's lived here for 4 years. "sorry B. you're just a sheltered dumbass."
it hit me suddenly when he says the most inappropriate things, and totally doesn't know how to read people's body language. he's like the annoying younger sibling. dammit. now i insulted myself without meaning to. but like before...
so maybe it's true. he just doesn't know about the north american culture. that's fine. four years isn't that long...
but he constantly refers to females as "lower life forms". and we'll be having a serious convo, and he'll suddenly jump in saying, "IT'S CAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL!" or "IT'S CAUSE YOU HAVE TINY EYES! AND CAN'T DRIVE! AND CAN'T SEE WHEN YOU YAWN!"
sorry, scuse me but bite my ass you fucking shiteater.
*sigh*. that last sentence made me laugh, despite my crazy anger. it sounded ... kinky. HAHAHAHAHA ew. now i want to barf.
that reminds me of how stupid Grace is.
She marked Kelvin and my storybook outline. it's about a beluga, and the babies are sometimes blue, so it's called "Baby Blue and the Sea". she wrote "perhaps you should reconsider the title. baby blue???"
i was confused. till krystan said that it was a porno (of course krystan, the inanimate porn photographer would know this).
Grace, you idiot! it's a story book for grade 2s! i'm sure the first thing they'll think of when they hear "baby blue" isn't the colour baby blue, because that is too complicated. no, they'll probably think "oh god. baby blue the beluga? baby blue is a porno i've never seen or heard of! my stars! now i'll grow up all twisted and i'll become a physics teacher, get a job at oscss, and grade storybook outlines like a dirty little perv who never goes outside."
B always swears and stuff now. it's funny cause when he first came, he was so naive that he acted a lot like a shy 8 year old. now that he's surrounded by teens, he's quickly mentally developping. right now, he's in his "oo it's cool to swear and do lots of jackassery, and to flirt with girls by hitting them and being a dumbass. the more perverted, the better."
Gary is coming a bit out of his shell. but he's being rude and awkward. i guess he's same as B, but he's a different sort.
the whole B thing really got going after we went looking for the astronauts, but we coudlnt' find them. B was the only guy with us, and kept talking about the lower life form thing. i'm not joking, it was the only thing he would talk about. kristine kept humouring him. jesus. anyways, that lunch hour, Alex guy had told him a joke:
how can you tell if a criminal is half black and half chinese?
because he can steal all the cars, but doesn't know how to drive.
i had heard it, and meh, i didn't care. the first time it was funny. not so much the 8th time. Fuck. after telling it 8 times, B goes, yeah that's why they can't see! cause they're eyes are so tiny tiny tiny!"
very good B. now go to hell.
later...
we were talking about connie chung. someone says, "i don't like her!! her eyes are so small!!"
i don't know what to say. it's not like i've never made fun of how someone looks, but it's never been for something that's shared by her whole culture. it's not quite so bad as, "i don't like him! he's black!" but it's got to be worse than "i don't like how her hair style!"...i dunno. i'm prolly coming out of my desensitization cause i'm asian.
lisa prolly noticed me get quiet, and she goes "yeah...cause she's had so many face lifts...so her cheeks .. they come into her eyes..."
and i say nothing.
b goes "hahahha yeah! like she yawns, and she can't see! she goes blind! her eyes are so small. that's why when they drive they can't see! they're all 'aaaahhhi'myawning' and then "aaaagh!" crash! hehehe"
alex says, "what?! i can yawn and see."
he opens his mouth wide and keeps his eyes open.
"but that's cause you're trying!"
alex does it again.
everyone but me laughs. they say , "you look like a blowfish!" he had his wisdom teeth removed yesterday and has huge cheeks right now.
me: "well the hell do you expect?! he just got his teeth removed, give him a friggin' break. ugh..."
but i didn't care about the blowfish thing. it just ripped me up inside that everyone else was being so insensitive. not just B. but really, by that point, I was being super sensitive to anything remotely offensive.
i'm being so hypocritical.
but still.
those are my favourite words. "but still." i use them too much.
alex and i, we said "b, you realize you're asian too, right?" (lots of people say "chinese" when they mean "asians". that makes me mad too. when pple assume i'm chinese. it's tough to complain, since i actually am chinese.)
B goes no india is totally seperate. we say, then what continent is india on? the continent of india? he says well it's same continent, but different culture. we say, well japan and korea and vietnam have different cultures than china...so...??
he's dumb.
everyone makes me so mad.
but then i'll get over it so quickly. i dont' like it. i swear, i wasn't even this mad when all this stuff actually happened. maybe i just need to eat.
so i'm gonna do that.
but first, another funny story.
in bio, we're learning about enzymes. well we just finished. but anyways, gabe had drawn some diagrams of competition between substrates for spots on enzymes. he was doing competitive inhibitors and one inhibitor had taken the activation site of another substrate. the inhibitor was in the spot, with the little triangle substrate off to the side, and with a bunch of question marks beside it. they were small, and it looked like the little substrate was thinking "what ??"
then later, we were doing non-competitive inhibitors, and the activation site had changed shapes cause of this other substrate. then the same little triangle was trying to get into an activation site that wasn't the right shape, and it had "?!?" beside it.
that little triange never gets a break. but he doesn't have to swear!
hambre. ciao!
p.s. josie talks ghettospeak when mad. but usually, it's all valley girl.
p.p.s. geez. and i just ranted about insensitive pple. i take it back. but really...she does.
"and i was all like, yo man...dat's whack!"
i left to check stuff and when i came back in kitchen,she was pulling out a tiny baggy of weird green herbs. she was analyzing them and sniffing them.i yelled,"KRISTINE!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
it was hilarious. they were really chinese tea herbs. she carries them around, i guess, cause it helps her stay awake, but doesn't taste like shit. so she made tea. while it kept her up till 2am, it made me sleepy. but maybe it was the fact i had gotten 3 hours sleep that made me sleepy. maybe it really was pot. that'd be hilarious. but no, just so you don't get funny ideas, it was really tea leaves.
today was the press conference for OSC's new imax movie; Space Station. the maker of film, and 2 astronauts were there too. one of them was in the movie. we thought one of them would be marc garneau (cause you know...marc garneau is the only canadian astronaut there is.), we were allowed to go, and for once, everyone wore their labcoats.and we knew they were sitting behind us, cause we saw them come in the dark theatre. so i dared kelvin to yell out "MARC GARNEAU!! WE LOVE YOU!!" because there's so many people in our class that want to be astronauts. so he did, and i cheered. but he got in trouble. by amanda, the vice (the vice's always get students in trouble. no matter where you go. i wonder what principals do that vice's don't). i felt painfully embarassed for him. he told me he was gonna "kick me in the face" for making him do that. the fact that kelvin is the living definition of a mama's boy, makes his statement hilarious and scary at the same time.
talking about embarassment...well this was just funny.
last time we went to see an imax movie, we (lisa, richard, josh, robin, and i) were saying that when we go to the space station premiere, we should wear cardboard boxes on our heads, with a little "viewhole" cut out, and "astronaut" written on the front. i didn't expect them to actually do it. just lisa, rich, josh and robin. but still. they hung out in a circle, and were wearing their labbies. they were being picked on from us flicking them in the back of the heads, and spinning their boxes so they couldnt' see. they got in a circle, and started head butting each other. à la simpsons style.
later, lisa told me that when she was going to biology with the box on, a bunch of hosts surrounded her and were pushing her around, going "astro NOT! astro NOT!!" and were spinning the box, stole her glasses, flicking her in the back of the head.
i love the hosts.
glen is a boy how used to be a student of gabe's. he works at OSC now, but he's a 3rd year at toronto. he looks almost my age, yet you can see how he's in his 20s...he looks like he could be almost any age. it's a fun thing. anyways, he comes in to help us out sometimes, and since he wants to be a teacher, it's cool. but...either he's got his whole teaching technique wrong, or he has a crush on some of gabe's students.
i think..me.
iee..
you're probably thinking, "well the first one is more likely than the latter. you're being a drama queen." but seriously! i don't try to look for these things, and it's not like i think it's something to brag about. it's...true...iee squared. lol.
speaking of squares.
one lunch hour a few days ago, we were discussing pick up lines. i remember telling this in blog b4. ah well. after guys told some pretty lame and disgusting one, alex girl says, well i have one for all the calculus nerds. it goes..
hey baby. let's find your derivative so i can tangent your curves.
hilaaaahrious!
but i bet if it was a guy who said it, i'd be like, "oh that's horrid!" *monacle falls out of eye and brakes*
kristine said, "i want a boyfriend. don't tell anyone (so of course, the natural thing is to post it on the internet) but i'm telling you cause i'm comfortable around you."
lol i didn't 'mean to compliment myself there. this was supposed to be about kristine. so it goes on...
she said how she gets mad at herself for saying that, cause she used to be all about making fun of girls who complained about wanting boyfriends, but never had a guy in mind, and who were desperate like that. i said, maybe it's just cause you actually like someone now.
i think i know what she means though. it's not that you want a boyfriend, it's that the feeling of genuinely liking someone, and knowing they like you back is nice. it's different.
so really, unless you are a social outcast by your own fault, everyone feels this way.
she's just lonely. har har..
dammit. b is pissing the hell out of me lately. okay, so we (science students) can be pretty perverted and lame, and cracking politically incorrect jokes, but not more than most teenagers are. but seriously, B doesn't know when to quit. it's fucking annoying now. he's indian, and he's really proud of it. which is alright, but tiresome when it's overdone. i don't know if it's cause he feels pretty out of place in "this new land". he blames all his not knowing what a dominatrix, orchid, martha stewart, dr.phil, madonna, earwig, child molestor, wife-beater is because he doesn't know about "this culture". ignore the fact he's lived here for 4 years. "sorry B. you're just a sheltered dumbass."
it hit me suddenly when he says the most inappropriate things, and totally doesn't know how to read people's body language. he's like the annoying younger sibling. dammit. now i insulted myself without meaning to. but like before...
so maybe it's true. he just doesn't know about the north american culture. that's fine. four years isn't that long...
but he constantly refers to females as "lower life forms". and we'll be having a serious convo, and he'll suddenly jump in saying, "IT'S CAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL!" or "IT'S CAUSE YOU HAVE TINY EYES! AND CAN'T DRIVE! AND CAN'T SEE WHEN YOU YAWN!"
sorry, scuse me but bite my ass you fucking shiteater.
*sigh*. that last sentence made me laugh, despite my crazy anger. it sounded ... kinky. HAHAHAHAHA ew. now i want to barf.
that reminds me of how stupid Grace is.
She marked Kelvin and my storybook outline. it's about a beluga, and the babies are sometimes blue, so it's called "Baby Blue and the Sea". she wrote "perhaps you should reconsider the title. baby blue???"
i was confused. till krystan said that it was a porno (of course krystan, the inanimate porn photographer would know this).
Grace, you idiot! it's a story book for grade 2s! i'm sure the first thing they'll think of when they hear "baby blue" isn't the colour baby blue, because that is too complicated. no, they'll probably think "oh god. baby blue the beluga? baby blue is a porno i've never seen or heard of! my stars! now i'll grow up all twisted and i'll become a physics teacher, get a job at oscss, and grade storybook outlines like a dirty little perv who never goes outside."
B always swears and stuff now. it's funny cause when he first came, he was so naive that he acted a lot like a shy 8 year old. now that he's surrounded by teens, he's quickly mentally developping. right now, he's in his "oo it's cool to swear and do lots of jackassery, and to flirt with girls by hitting them and being a dumbass. the more perverted, the better."
Gary is coming a bit out of his shell. but he's being rude and awkward. i guess he's same as B, but he's a different sort.
the whole B thing really got going after we went looking for the astronauts, but we coudlnt' find them. B was the only guy with us, and kept talking about the lower life form thing. i'm not joking, it was the only thing he would talk about. kristine kept humouring him. jesus. anyways, that lunch hour, Alex guy had told him a joke:
how can you tell if a criminal is half black and half chinese?
because he can steal all the cars, but doesn't know how to drive.
i had heard it, and meh, i didn't care. the first time it was funny. not so much the 8th time. Fuck. after telling it 8 times, B goes, yeah that's why they can't see! cause they're eyes are so tiny tiny tiny!"
very good B. now go to hell.
later...
we were talking about connie chung. someone says, "i don't like her!! her eyes are so small!!"
i don't know what to say. it's not like i've never made fun of how someone looks, but it's never been for something that's shared by her whole culture. it's not quite so bad as, "i don't like him! he's black!" but it's got to be worse than "i don't like how her hair style!"...i dunno. i'm prolly coming out of my desensitization cause i'm asian.
lisa prolly noticed me get quiet, and she goes "yeah...cause she's had so many face lifts...so her cheeks .. they come into her eyes..."
and i say nothing.
b goes "hahahha yeah! like she yawns, and she can't see! she goes blind! her eyes are so small. that's why when they drive they can't see! they're all 'aaaahhhi'myawning' and then "aaaagh!" crash! hehehe"
alex says, "what?! i can yawn and see."
he opens his mouth wide and keeps his eyes open.
"but that's cause you're trying!"
alex does it again.
everyone but me laughs. they say , "you look like a blowfish!" he had his wisdom teeth removed yesterday and has huge cheeks right now.
me: "well the hell do you expect?! he just got his teeth removed, give him a friggin' break. ugh..."
but i didn't care about the blowfish thing. it just ripped me up inside that everyone else was being so insensitive. not just B. but really, by that point, I was being super sensitive to anything remotely offensive.
i'm being so hypocritical.
but still.
those are my favourite words. "but still." i use them too much.
alex and i, we said "b, you realize you're asian too, right?" (lots of people say "chinese" when they mean "asians". that makes me mad too. when pple assume i'm chinese. it's tough to complain, since i actually am chinese.)
B goes no india is totally seperate. we say, then what continent is india on? the continent of india? he says well it's same continent, but different culture. we say, well japan and korea and vietnam have different cultures than china...so...??
he's dumb.
everyone makes me so mad.
but then i'll get over it so quickly. i dont' like it. i swear, i wasn't even this mad when all this stuff actually happened. maybe i just need to eat.
so i'm gonna do that.
but first, another funny story.
in bio, we're learning about enzymes. well we just finished. but anyways, gabe had drawn some diagrams of competition between substrates for spots on enzymes. he was doing competitive inhibitors and one inhibitor had taken the activation site of another substrate. the inhibitor was in the spot, with the little triangle substrate off to the side, and with a bunch of question marks beside it. they were small, and it looked like the little substrate was thinking "what ??"
then later, we were doing non-competitive inhibitors, and the activation site had changed shapes cause of this other substrate. then the same little triangle was trying to get into an activation site that wasn't the right shape, and it had "?!?" beside it.
that little triange never gets a break. but he doesn't have to swear!
hambre. ciao!
p.s. josie talks ghettospeak when mad. but usually, it's all valley girl.
p.p.s. geez. and i just ranted about insensitive pple. i take it back. but really...she does.
"and i was all like, yo man...dat's whack!"
posted by sws at
7:55:00 PM
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
2nd city won't let all 27 of us come in at once, since we get in free.
they say "no more than 4 at a time".
how rude.
we'll all go at same time, but act surprised to see each other there.
they say "no more than 4 at a time".
how rude.
we'll all go at same time, but act surprised to see each other there.
posted by sws at
3:04:00 PM
i stayed up until 4:20 this morning, doing the bio proj. i told jeff i was mad at him and gary. he said sorry. i said, if you were really sorry, you'd give me money.
i wasn't really mad anymore.
i'm tired, but not as much as i thought i'd be.
kristine is staying over tonight. why, i don't know. i like having company, but i hope she doesn't end up being a leech. she's talky. i don't feel like talking at all tonight. she wants to study calc. like hell i'm doing that.
josh got his hair cut. it's pointy. so did cliff. i said "oh you got a real haircut!". he thought i meant real as in a good one, but i meant real as in last time i thought he got a haircut, he just didn't gel it.
he still gels his hair. boo hoo hoo, what a horrible horrible world.
i don't know about krystan...
no more 2nd city this friday.
i wasn't really mad anymore.
i'm tired, but not as much as i thought i'd be.
kristine is staying over tonight. why, i don't know. i like having company, but i hope she doesn't end up being a leech. she's talky. i don't feel like talking at all tonight. she wants to study calc. like hell i'm doing that.
josh got his hair cut. it's pointy. so did cliff. i said "oh you got a real haircut!". he thought i meant real as in a good one, but i meant real as in last time i thought he got a haircut, he just didn't gel it.
he still gels his hair. boo hoo hoo, what a horrible horrible world.
i don't know about krystan...
no more 2nd city this friday.
posted by sws at
3:03:00 PM
last year in english, mr.peshnak was talking about love being a theme in literature. he said something about the french inventing love. i don't know what he means. it sounded like he meant in literature, as in they were the first ones to mention love, but it didn't seem like that was what he meant.
i'm in a weird mood.
happy and jealous and angry and glad.
i miss ____. but why am i ashamed to say so?
one year from making your closest friends for at least the next four years, my family is telling me. freaks! what a weird way of thinking of it. but it's true. i wonder if i'm going to change. i hope not. change sucks. and if anything, it'll probably be for the worse.
jeffrey....when will you finish your work?? *sigh*
you know that mood when you want to like someone, but you don't?
yeah.
i don't know what i'm saying.
i'm just making myself sound like an idiot.
yet i'm still going to publish this..
if anyone comes up to me and asks me about this post, i'm going to act like it didn't happen.
teenage girls have a bad rep. there are so many things wrong with this world. in a matter of 2 years, my court in ttown has become covered with houses. it makes me sad because there used to only be 4 houses on my 'street' and the rest was full of these amazing tall trees that turned the brightest colours around this time of year. but now they're all gone. and replaced with identical looking houses.
andrew said that they predict that the world's supply of fossil fuels will run out in 50 to 100 years. this is huge, why don't you hear about this ever? meanwhile, they're busy making pills for people who can't get it up, and creating cell phones that weigh less than mj's non existant nose. why don't they work on something worthwhile?! it's so scary. i never considered going into environmental science until alex girl said "yeah, there's lots of other things i'd like to do too, but instead of saying, "well i won't be alive when the world falls apart", like the last 10 generations, i think it's time we started turning things around."
i swear, everything she says, sounds like a proclamation, or a speech. she talks about her brother a lot. i never noticed how annoying it can be. i shouldn't talk about mine as much. fuck that, i don't care, honestly. she just brags about him a lot.
yay! jeff is done!
bye everyone.
i'm in a weird mood.
happy and jealous and angry and glad.
i miss ____. but why am i ashamed to say so?
one year from making your closest friends for at least the next four years, my family is telling me. freaks! what a weird way of thinking of it. but it's true. i wonder if i'm going to change. i hope not. change sucks. and if anything, it'll probably be for the worse.
jeffrey....when will you finish your work?? *sigh*
you know that mood when you want to like someone, but you don't?
yeah.
i don't know what i'm saying.
i'm just making myself sound like an idiot.
yet i'm still going to publish this..
if anyone comes up to me and asks me about this post, i'm going to act like it didn't happen.
teenage girls have a bad rep. there are so many things wrong with this world. in a matter of 2 years, my court in ttown has become covered with houses. it makes me sad because there used to only be 4 houses on my 'street' and the rest was full of these amazing tall trees that turned the brightest colours around this time of year. but now they're all gone. and replaced with identical looking houses.
andrew said that they predict that the world's supply of fossil fuels will run out in 50 to 100 years. this is huge, why don't you hear about this ever? meanwhile, they're busy making pills for people who can't get it up, and creating cell phones that weigh less than mj's non existant nose. why don't they work on something worthwhile?! it's so scary. i never considered going into environmental science until alex girl said "yeah, there's lots of other things i'd like to do too, but instead of saying, "well i won't be alive when the world falls apart", like the last 10 generations, i think it's time we started turning things around."
i swear, everything she says, sounds like a proclamation, or a speech. she talks about her brother a lot. i never noticed how annoying it can be. i shouldn't talk about mine as much. fuck that, i don't care, honestly. she just brags about him a lot.
yay! jeff is done!
bye everyone.
posted by sws at
12:21:00 AM
Monday, October 14, 2002
i get so angry really quickly. then i get over it like that *snaps fingers*
i guess i'm moody.
i guess i'm moody.
posted by sws at
11:42:00 PM
i'm not as mad anymore. jeff called again. said sorry about this. i thought he was talking about me staying up late so i could get his stuff. i says to him, i says don't worry bout it, i still have a lot to do. i'll prolly be up later than you. he says, no, i doubt it. i still have lots of physics to do. i just got home.
poor guy.
laurie's poems are amazing, i really like them. i used to like making poems too. in grade 4. that sounds condenscending. i like poems that don't rhyme easily.
here goes one...
empty glass
drank it down
lots of caffeine
for my frown.
like a clown
i hate poems
this one sucks
la la ducks.
masterpiece. i tell you.
poor guy.
laurie's poems are amazing, i really like them. i used to like making poems too. in grade 4. that sounds condenscending. i like poems that don't rhyme easily.
here goes one...
empty glass
drank it down
lots of caffeine
for my frown.
like a clown
i hate poems
this one sucks
la la ducks.
masterpiece. i tell you.
posted by sws at
11:41:00 PM
it's 11:27. the fucking bitch is probably asleep. he fucking better not be...he still has to send me the shit he did.
posted by sws at
11:24:00 PM
reminds me. i included a quote in my bio lab report. except, it's not scientific at all. i'm so damn artsy when compared to the other pple at oscss.
my opener to my intro was, "As the ancient chinese proverb says, ' I hear, and I forget. I see, and i remember. I do, and i learn."
oops. another quote.
i'm so lame! i hope he doesn't take me seriously. i dont' even think that's how the quote really goes. i was just trying to remember it from that..history channel promo...
...
GODDAMMIT!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH JEFF!?!?! he didn't do ANYTHING!! AAGGGH.
gary was supposed to do: all of ptb
gary did:
-all of pt b.
Jeff was supposed to do:
analysis of pt.c; overall intro; bibliography
he did: intro; bibliography
Now i'm doing....
ALL THE SHIT THEY WERE TOO FUCKING LAZY TO DO!!!!
goddamit!! this is a fucking bite in the ass, especially because when mr.gomez was telling me what to say at my interview, he said "they'll ask you what you'd do if your lab partners don't do their share of the work. make sure you don't say you'd tell on them, or give them a hard time, just say that you'd do whatever it takes to get their share, plus yours, done."
FAWKERS!!!!!!
and they're supposed to be high-achieving, mark-grabbing, little snots. fuck. i'm gonna punch jeff out tomorrow. if i'm not sleeping at my desk.
the thing is, i knew this would happen, if they did it or not. i don't trust them to do a good enough job, and if i get a bad mark, i want it to be my fault, at least then i deserve the shitty mark.
fuck. so unfair. and why the fuck can't gary fucking go to school a fucking half hour earlier!?!? jesus! all we have to do is put this bitchass of a report together, and make a table of contents. what the hell is wrong with him?!
that's the last time i accept the first offer to be in a group (jeff), and definately the last time i feel sorry for the loser of the class, and let him join our group (gary).
fucking bitches. i at least expected gary to be a little study-rat.
it should be illegal to look like a total nerd, but not actually be one. it's misleading. and a cruel trick of nature, as well.
my opener to my intro was, "As the ancient chinese proverb says, ' I hear, and I forget. I see, and i remember. I do, and i learn."
oops. another quote.
i'm so lame! i hope he doesn't take me seriously. i dont' even think that's how the quote really goes. i was just trying to remember it from that..history channel promo...
...
GODDAMMIT!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH JEFF!?!?! he didn't do ANYTHING!! AAGGGH.
gary was supposed to do: all of ptb
gary did:
-all of pt b.
Jeff was supposed to do:
analysis of pt.c; overall intro; bibliography
he did: intro; bibliography
Now i'm doing....
ALL THE SHIT THEY WERE TOO FUCKING LAZY TO DO!!!!
goddamit!! this is a fucking bite in the ass, especially because when mr.gomez was telling me what to say at my interview, he said "they'll ask you what you'd do if your lab partners don't do their share of the work. make sure you don't say you'd tell on them, or give them a hard time, just say that you'd do whatever it takes to get their share, plus yours, done."
FAWKERS!!!!!!
and they're supposed to be high-achieving, mark-grabbing, little snots. fuck. i'm gonna punch jeff out tomorrow. if i'm not sleeping at my desk.
the thing is, i knew this would happen, if they did it or not. i don't trust them to do a good enough job, and if i get a bad mark, i want it to be my fault, at least then i deserve the shitty mark.
fuck. so unfair. and why the fuck can't gary fucking go to school a fucking half hour earlier!?!? jesus! all we have to do is put this bitchass of a report together, and make a table of contents. what the hell is wrong with him?!
that's the last time i accept the first offer to be in a group (jeff), and definately the last time i feel sorry for the loser of the class, and let him join our group (gary).
fucking bitches. i at least expected gary to be a little study-rat.
it should be illegal to look like a total nerd, but not actually be one. it's misleading. and a cruel trick of nature, as well.
posted by sws at
11:23:00 PM
"yeah, anne wants me to see some...'occupational therapist'"
"do those things really work?"
"well anne saw one for her weight problem.."
"isn't she anorexic?"
"...yeah....he's really good.."
no more quotes for now. promise.
"do those things really work?"
"well anne saw one for her weight problem.."
"isn't she anorexic?"
"...yeah....he's really good.."
no more quotes for now. promise.
posted by sws at
11:03:00 PM
you know, everybody feels this way sometimes. everybody feels this way...
posted by sws at
10:57:00 PM
i'm home!.....again.
different one this time. i still miss ttown and my real house, but there's something great about having your very own place, that's all yours. i realized all this as i used the bathroom without shutting the door. (i'm evil)
Sam Roberts- "Don't Walk Away Eileen" was on underGRADS last night. amazing! that show has good music. i heard sprung monkey, and the Rosenburgs on that one. and it's cause of that show that i (unfortunately) got the Good Charlotte CD a while back. i want to see a garage band concert.
i'm really glad shannon brought the yearbook today. it's fun!
vic's changed a lot. but everyone does.
she's really good at pool!
i hope someone does tell julie to stop smoking pot. even though i don't like her as much as i used to, i still don't want her messing up her life.
Ace's and the Locks are one of my favourite places in ttown. is that sad? ah well.
i can't believe i still have to use my kilt. bobby schmit got the science awards. i wonder what his marks were. i sound jealous. that's dumb.
SHIT. i got to remember to tell my mom about how they raised the price of the china trip.
laura called 2day. 2 times. she always calls right back after calling once. she forgets stuff a lot. i really hope we get oscss sweaters.
at brunch this am, i was talking to vic about tennis. i got very territorial. i can't believe i'm on the tennis team, when i didn't play any games. it was nice of mr.mcguire to do that. he's hot. (hahaha...) anyways, i really dont' want to play doubles anymore. besides, who would be my double's partner? it's just sucky (and a little bit ... fun) cause vic was my dbles partner, and we kicked ass, cause i played baseline, and she was a good volley-er, but now that we both want to play singles...we have to compete against each other for the only spot. she got it last year cause i went to queens and wouldn't be there for any of the tournements. but it bothered me so much, that i'm planning on not going to queen's this year. it's warped. but i don't care. i think it's because i practiced all last summer. and i was a lot better. and i was beating her sometimes.
...so creepily competitive.
i wonder if horoscope descriptions are accurate at all. well..i guess they only seem like they are because everyone is a little like all the signs. scorpios always have bad horoscope predictions. and their descriptions make them sound evil, and sex-obsessed.
different one this time. i still miss ttown and my real house, but there's something great about having your very own place, that's all yours. i realized all this as i used the bathroom without shutting the door. (i'm evil)
Sam Roberts- "Don't Walk Away Eileen" was on underGRADS last night. amazing! that show has good music. i heard sprung monkey, and the Rosenburgs on that one. and it's cause of that show that i (unfortunately) got the Good Charlotte CD a while back. i want to see a garage band concert.
i'm really glad shannon brought the yearbook today. it's fun!
vic's changed a lot. but everyone does.
she's really good at pool!
i hope someone does tell julie to stop smoking pot. even though i don't like her as much as i used to, i still don't want her messing up her life.
Ace's and the Locks are one of my favourite places in ttown. is that sad? ah well.
i can't believe i still have to use my kilt. bobby schmit got the science awards. i wonder what his marks were. i sound jealous. that's dumb.
SHIT. i got to remember to tell my mom about how they raised the price of the china trip.
laura called 2day. 2 times. she always calls right back after calling once. she forgets stuff a lot. i really hope we get oscss sweaters.
at brunch this am, i was talking to vic about tennis. i got very territorial. i can't believe i'm on the tennis team, when i didn't play any games. it was nice of mr.mcguire to do that. he's hot. (hahaha...) anyways, i really dont' want to play doubles anymore. besides, who would be my double's partner? it's just sucky (and a little bit ... fun) cause vic was my dbles partner, and we kicked ass, cause i played baseline, and she was a good volley-er, but now that we both want to play singles...we have to compete against each other for the only spot. she got it last year cause i went to queens and wouldn't be there for any of the tournements. but it bothered me so much, that i'm planning on not going to queen's this year. it's warped. but i don't care. i think it's because i practiced all last summer. and i was a lot better. and i was beating her sometimes.
...so creepily competitive.
i wonder if horoscope descriptions are accurate at all. well..i guess they only seem like they are because everyone is a little like all the signs. scorpios always have bad horoscope predictions. and their descriptions make them sound evil, and sex-obsessed.
posted by sws at
6:53:00 PM
my blog. it's tempermental.
brothers, mom, and greg are watching office space. funny movie!
brothers, mom, and greg are watching office space. funny movie!
posted by sws at
12:31:00 AM
Sunday, October 13, 2002
i want a cartoon character based on myself.
once, i asked steve wood which cartoon character i would be, if i were one. we had just finished talking about Jackie Chan Adventures, and he said i was Jade. that girl is so funny. but i wanted to say that he only said that cause she's the only chinese non-skanky cartoon character there is. actually...maybe i did say that.
once, i asked steve wood which cartoon character i would be, if i were one. we had just finished talking about Jackie Chan Adventures, and he said i was Jade. that girl is so funny. but i wanted to say that he only said that cause she's the only chinese non-skanky cartoon character there is. actually...maybe i did say that.
posted by sws at
11:44:00 PM
i refuse to change my template.
and also to stop playing Pete Townsend's Let My Love Open The Door.
such a shitty song. but i can't stop..loving it!
ahaha i'm so lame.
jo came by today to visit me. i was doing calc, hadn't showered, was wearing sweat pants, and was wearing a mega-mickeymouse shirt from grade 4. seriously. it makes you dizzy looking at it. it's literally covered in mickey mouse faces. i don't even like him that much. i just got it when i visited disney land with my family loooong time ago. me and my mom, we got matching shirts. we wore 'em together. *sigh* when i get a kid, i'm gonna dress 'em up in the lamest, campiest clothes. it'll be fun. to laugh.
i have no clothes in this house! arrg. i never realized how few clothes i have period. because of the uniform, obviously. but i really don't want to go out and get more (ha. ha.). what i mean is, i don't want to buy clothes, when it costs a fucking 70 bucks for a pair of pants.
tired. shit, i have a bio lab due. why can't i start it!? *sigh* it's not like i need to think at all.
i had thanksgiving din din today. it was great. my mom had another marathon cooking day. she cooked a week's worth food for me and my brothers, and herself. that's 5 people. what a freak!
chris used to want to be a chef. it was a sudden thing, but he still dreams about it. too bad he has to settle for being a doctor now, eh?
maybe you just don't know what to do. or maybe you're scared to say.. i'm falling for you
1st time i heard that song, i was walking in the hallways. grade 10. i feel like a poser when i wear my weezer shirt. i used to think i was a big fan, but compared to mark, and some of the other people...meh. love the panda.
we were watching underGRADS when jason polak came over. it's crazy, having everyone home on holidays, cause its like...people you haven't seen in ages, but it's like old times. i mean, mark even has friends over. THAT is freaky. it's pretty weird how mark and i get along, when he's 6 years older than me. i think it's cause he's immature, and i'm so sophisticated.
do you believe that? oh you're mean.
anyways, yes. we were watching underGRADS, and it was funny, cause the main character, Nitz reminds me of Jason. they were even wearing the same clothes today, complete with ballcap. i wanted to tell him, but i figured i'd save him the creepiness.
i'm really really surprised chris and jason have stayed such good friends all this time, especially cause chris can be so critical of people. and because of his big bitchass stage. yesterday, i was trying to remember the name of Steve Irwin's wife (i forget why. doesn't matter) and i said, "what was it? tony? tanya? tammy?" and when i said tammy, he sort of froze, and got all quiet. i think he's ashamed.
i would be too.
going to hilltop with emma and shannon tomorrow! for some brunch. blegh. i feel sick with exhaustion, suddenly.
night!
whatever happened to andy richter's show? poor andy.
and also to stop playing Pete Townsend's Let My Love Open The Door.
such a shitty song. but i can't stop..loving it!
ahaha i'm so lame.
jo came by today to visit me. i was doing calc, hadn't showered, was wearing sweat pants, and was wearing a mega-mickeymouse shirt from grade 4. seriously. it makes you dizzy looking at it. it's literally covered in mickey mouse faces. i don't even like him that much. i just got it when i visited disney land with my family loooong time ago. me and my mom, we got matching shirts. we wore 'em together. *sigh* when i get a kid, i'm gonna dress 'em up in the lamest, campiest clothes. it'll be fun. to laugh.
i have no clothes in this house! arrg. i never realized how few clothes i have period. because of the uniform, obviously. but i really don't want to go out and get more (ha. ha.). what i mean is, i don't want to buy clothes, when it costs a fucking 70 bucks for a pair of pants.
tired. shit, i have a bio lab due. why can't i start it!? *sigh* it's not like i need to think at all.
i had thanksgiving din din today. it was great. my mom had another marathon cooking day. she cooked a week's worth food for me and my brothers, and herself. that's 5 people. what a freak!
chris used to want to be a chef. it was a sudden thing, but he still dreams about it. too bad he has to settle for being a doctor now, eh?
maybe you just don't know what to do. or maybe you're scared to say.. i'm falling for you
1st time i heard that song, i was walking in the hallways. grade 10. i feel like a poser when i wear my weezer shirt. i used to think i was a big fan, but compared to mark, and some of the other people...meh. love the panda.
we were watching underGRADS when jason polak came over. it's crazy, having everyone home on holidays, cause its like...people you haven't seen in ages, but it's like old times. i mean, mark even has friends over. THAT is freaky. it's pretty weird how mark and i get along, when he's 6 years older than me. i think it's cause he's immature, and i'm so sophisticated.
do you believe that? oh you're mean.
anyways, yes. we were watching underGRADS, and it was funny, cause the main character, Nitz reminds me of Jason. they were even wearing the same clothes today, complete with ballcap. i wanted to tell him, but i figured i'd save him the creepiness.
i'm really really surprised chris and jason have stayed such good friends all this time, especially cause chris can be so critical of people. and because of his big bitchass stage. yesterday, i was trying to remember the name of Steve Irwin's wife (i forget why. doesn't matter) and i said, "what was it? tony? tanya? tammy?" and when i said tammy, he sort of froze, and got all quiet. i think he's ashamed.
i would be too.
going to hilltop with emma and shannon tomorrow! for some brunch. blegh. i feel sick with exhaustion, suddenly.
night!
whatever happened to andy richter's show? poor andy.
posted by sws at
11:36:00 PM
mark played at an old high school classmate's wedding last w/e. her name is bobbie. i asked what her real name was. he thinks it's actually bobbie.
maybe it's robert. heh heh
no. but i can't imagine anyone named roberta. that's be...i dunno. it's a funny name.
her daughter's name is randy cody.
kind of...hmm...well what do you think?
maybe it's robert. heh heh
no. but i can't imagine anyone named roberta. that's be...i dunno. it's a funny name.
her daughter's name is randy cody.
kind of...hmm...well what do you think?
posted by sws at
1:07:00 PM
This belongs to Steph.
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